Former abuser

jasmin wrote:...especially this kind of thread.

I really do not think that I deserve that kind of poorly veiled condescension, mixed with what I also suspect is meant as a hint that you don't believe I can think straight about these matters.

jasmin wrote:As I said before, Alevi, don't tell people why they want to do something in their own thread...

It's not your place to tell someone why they're considering abusing their sister

Are you on drugs?

You cannot possibly be seriously saying that when somebody is considering abusing their sister, I should keep my mouth shut and not try and make them understand that abuse is abuse no matter what twisted motive one presents for it.

I think you need to work on your reading comprehension.

I think this needs to be returned to the original topic in order to help the OP.

Cracked

I think you need to work on your manners, Alevi. You will be on the moderation preview for all sexuality or abuse forums for now on, a moderator will have to approve your posts before they show up on the forum.

I'd just like to say that I also do not think you should tell your sister. She might really not know and by telling her that, you might actually cause her harm. I think 'do no harm' is much more important than 'being "honest"' ... If she comes to you and asks you about it, then you should admit it and then grovel and ask for forgiveness (without expecting it), but don't tell her if she really has no way of knowing. It's just something you're going to have to live with ... unless you are willing to hurt her (again). That is truly my opinion; I honestly believe it is a very bad idea to tell her. You can tell your parents - it will hurt them too, but not in such a way as it would hurt her.

Just think about it.

Have you ever heard the saying: Ignorance is bliss? It's because it really sometimes is.

1) jail - sending yourself to jail will not make your sisters life better. in fact it may make it worse. Ive been in jail. It had a big toll on my family knowing they wouldnt see me but once every 2-3 weeks. jail WILL NOT solve anything.

2) if you want to help your sister, make her life as fruitful as possible. give her advice, a shoulder to cry on, take her on vacations etc. you get the drift. if she needs a ride to see a movie, offer it. shes sad about a BF breaking up with her, show her some compassion and love.

3) your absolutely sure she nor anyone knows about it? Im not the best on this subject, but i would feel that you telling them this out of nowhere will hurt them more than blissful ignorance will. The right thing is usually the hardest choice. and IMO, not saying anything is the right thing. Your own conscience cleansing is not the important issue here. Its doing what will cause less grieve and pain. If you think she may have recollection of it, then you may want to address it.

this is all IMO. take it or leave it. i wish you the best of luck and i hope you and your sister/family live happily