POCD and remorse About something i've done (triggers)

I had POCD in 2013 and it was the scariest thing ever. Now i'm having intrusive thoughts again, somewhat weaker because of the medication i take for BPD.

So i've been obsessing about a time i was 9 years old taking a bath, and my 4 year old cousin was on the door, looking and giggling. I told her to kiss it (didnt force it) even tho i didnt really had sexual urges. i think she almost complied but went away giggling. Another time i saw CP by accident when i was 13, even tho it digusted me the taboo triggered me and i masturbated to it.

Now i'm back again suffering with a shitload of guilt over this, intrusive thoughts occupy my mind and the guilt makes me feel like a pedo even though i'm not really attracted to children, and never really thought of harming them or anything. In your guys opinion, how awful are those experiences, how bad should i feel, and how can i overcome the guilt?

Duplicate topic, please refer to

post2301915.html#p2301915

thanks