I experienced trauma throughout my childhood, as many have.
My mother suffered dissociatively and married an abusive men. My brothers forced themselves on me sexually and made a sport out of tearing me down. When I disclosed to my mom the horrors of the night, she carried on in life as usual.
As I grew up, I knew I wanted to help people that didn't have a voice. I was passionate and wanted to move forward from my past. I began volunteering and even got a job at an inpatient facility for addiction. I had not sought any therapy for my baggage and was quickly overwhelmed by other's trauma. I began using substances and engaging in one night stands with people I met online. After getting an abortion, I hit a low of depression I had not experienced before. At that job, I had an inappropriate interaction with a 15 year old. It escalated to flirting and touching. I quit the job after realizing what I had done and started looking for a therapist.
Now, years later, I see a therepist regularly and have worked through pieces of my past. I have recently been presented with the opportunity to return to school and get an education in mental health. However, I feel that my past decisions disqualify me from being helpful to anyone. Am I just a terrible person that wants to make up for the $#%^ I've done? Is it absolutely ridiculous to try to become a counselor?