Did I sexually abuse my brother ? Depressed and Suicidal

Thanks Starboy, same to you and likewise

It seems like yeah it is a huge topic thats just unspoken of. Maybe people, like myself, are afraid of being judged or looked at as weirdos. But as children and young adolescents our minds dont comprehend what's "right" and "wrong" or whats acceptable by society. I'll be honest tho, I'm scared myself to tell friends because I fear their judgement from not understanding this stuff and thinking I'm into some gay incest type of activity when in reality I'm not and wasnt even capable of thinking of that when my situation happened. Surprisingly, the only two friends I've told so far have had similar stories with their cousins but at a little younger age and they were male to female interactions. And not as "weird" as mine. But Now imagine if I told EVERYONE in know. Maybe I'd hear a lot more lol

It's amazing tho how culture and society says one thing while pyshcologists and therapists give you the real inside scoop. That's where we need to put more focus on. It's always good to understand things from an actual scientific and "educated" standpoint rather then what the most popular opinion is.

My therapist so far is good it's just when I'm not seeing her I develop bad habits that she says are "addictive" to feeding my negative brain.

Out of curiosity have you ever been to a psychologist/therapist about this yet ? And what are their thoughts on it and did they help you out in any way ?

Thanks again buddy

You absolutely were "technically" still a child. Childhood technically ends at 18. The fact is, your brain has structurally changed significantly since then. On a very real, material level you are a different person to who you were. It seems like your behaviour was more on the side of experimentation than abuse, also. You should definitely not be self-tortured for what you did as a kid and I agree with much of the kind, reasonable responses already posted here

Thanks Sprock,

I appreciate your response. I know some people have told me already it was more on the experimentation side then abuse but I feel like I need constant reassurance from different sources in order to make myself believe it more.

The bigger reason behind my self-torture recently is the possibility of how it might have negatively impacted my younger sibling, which I would feel terrible for. I haven't brought it up with him yet but I feel like if I do then it might cause more harm then good especially if he's forgotten about it. It's a tough situation.

Would you advise me to bring it up with him ? Our relationship is pretty good at the moment. We're not particularly close but we don't really hate each other either. Still a little tension though from our sibling rivalry when we were kids.

Thank you again

It's tricky... personally I'd only bring it up and apologise if you think he remembers. Others on here argue that one should always disclose and apologise, but really I think one's opinion on this is so contingent upon one's own personal experience.