Something I did at a party.

So I sent this but this is a clearer version. So I am 19 male, and when I was younger I reached puberty at 15. I was highly sexualised by my brother not in an abusive way but he has ADHD so he's very immature. When I was 16 there was this girl who I used to be close with and I was dealing with home problems and was mentally ill with OCD(still have OCD SEVERLY) and was mentally screwed(not excuse just need to tell) I was at a party and like I said a girl who I was close with was there and she got drunk and so did I and she followed me around all night obviously wanting something and cause I was drunk so did I but wanted to wait till all my mates were asleep and later in the night she got upset so I went down stairs to help her but we were drunk and sat on a sofa and it was just me and her but cause she was drunk nothing happened and we fell asleep but durning the night she pointed her buttock at me and pressed it against me(purposely or not I'm not sure didn't ask) and it woke me up and impulse ly I put my hand on her buttocks to kind of push her away as I was getting hot and bit claustrophobic(there was another girl besides me) and I'll admit I got a boner cause I did like the girl and she liked me and she stopped pushing so I fell asleep horribly to say with my hand still on her buttocks that's what's causing me distress and I'm honest what I have done isn't disgraceful and monsterous but it might be crossing a line but I want insight and spread abit of awareness so don't lay off the hate tell me truth what you think. I know I was drunk but I feel I took advantage in a way? It was over clothes but I feel I groped her but she seemed okay but I'm just getting intrusive thoughts like "she'd be horrified now" "what would your parents say" "you're disgusting" but I can honestly say at first I had no bad intentions thank you for everything. Another thing I'd like to say this is the only time something like this has happened I don't like suffering of people and I'm a really nice guy but this has put me on edge as its food for my OCD to chew on. Thank you. Spread love X

Okely dokely. Firstly, I wouldn't lose much sleep over this one friend. You didn't sexually assault anyone nor did you even really do anything wrong. Fair enough you could've moved your hand or something but I think you're blowing this up just a tad. If she comes to you about it just simply explain the situation, no one will think the worst of you if you openly and honestly explain the situation and to be perfectly honest I really doubt this will ever come up. Likely she'll not remember and again you didn't violate her in any way. Just let it be what it is, a silly drunken situation. Take care bud!

Thank you so much man, my OCD does blow things out of proportion cause when I first remembered in the morning it felt like I'd have done it before but I know I haven't. Thanks for the help.

I very much think this was a sleepy drunken thing which she would not whatsoever recognise as assault, nor would the law The only thing you did wrong imho was to read too much into her buttocks pushing towards you - I can certainly relate to this, having OCD. Sometimes you need to step back and *not* over-analyse.

Thanks a lot sprock! I'm feeling SO much better now, and thanks to you Rab. If anyone else has anything to say please do.