i feel remorse for being a clingy housemate

Hello, so i am living with one housemate who is a guy. For ten days, i was a clingy housemate/friend, because in those 10 days i had 2 big assignments to do i felt stressed.

in those 10 days, he would invite a friend over to the house to study. and the atmosphere in the living room would be warm and friendly because there were two friends studying with each other.

in those 10 days i would go to my uni to work on my assignments alone, and when i felt stressed/lazy/discouraged, i would intentionally go back home multiple times (like 2-3 times a day) to see my housemate and hopefully his friend, to chat or maybe even just to see them.

however, if my housemate was in his room, i would not knock or bother him.

I confessed to my housemate about intentionally going home to see him and i apologized for causing any misunderstandings and thanked him for his patience.

what should i do now? what can i do now?

i fear my housemate may think that i have dishonest reasons or ulterior motives for going back to see him so often. what if he thinks i'm interested in him romantically when i'm not?

because within those 10 days, i noticed my housemate started avoiding me more by being in his room more, and like i said i don't disturb him when he is in his room.

many people return to home from college just to hang out with their friends. what you did was normal n nothing to feel guilty of.

friends often wait for each for lunch so they could eat together. maybe he was in his room more cause he wanted to study.
but surely you shouldnt feel so much remorse as you havent done any harm to anyone.

I have apologized to him twice, wanted to explain myself more but my mom says to stop the messages and let my housemate study in peace.

Trying to make up for my behavior by not texting him anymore, not knocking on his door, staying min my room when he uses the common area. Throwing out the garbage very early in the morning, not talking loudly or make loud noises in the living room, and i also washed his dishes for him (but only once, and no more than that). because i dont want him to get the wrong idea.

Will try to stay at school the whole day and go back during late nights to give him freedom and peace when using the common area.

Day 1 and 2, went back past 11 pm. Day 3, went back at 7 pm because i was too tired after midsemester exam, Day 4, went back at 7:30 pm, stayed in room for whole evening, because was too tired from studying for quiz

i understand you're feeling a lot of guilt and constant urge to apologize.
maybe wait till after his exams are over. he really has to focus on his studies now.
how would you feel if the situation was reversed. if he had done to you what you did to him, would you also want him to apologize constantly?

Yes i will not bother him for the next two months, his exams are far too important for me to distract him. For the whole of last week I only went home once, when necessary and I didn't text him or ask for conversation or talk to him. I just greeted him with a simple hi, and took out the garbage everyday

This is good. You dont have to stop living your life because of him. You can always use earphones n listen to music or hang out with other friends. at times a solo walk in the park is also peaceful.

Thank you, can i ask, what else can i do to make it up to him or help him?

i dont think there is anything more you need to do. you're his friend and not his slave. friendship is more valuable when there isn't any unnecessary favors involved. if he asks for help and if its within your capacity then perhaps you may help, but not otherwise.

the best way to help someone is to do something great in your own life and inspire the other person.

what i tell to myself 'dont tell others what to do. rather do good yourself and be successful and let that knowledge be an inspiration to those you want to help.'

Thank you once again, i understand and will listen to your advice completely.

Also, i just remembered something about me returning back and forth to the see my housemate.

Something that made me much much feel better, although it might make things seem weirder.

I didn't go home repeatedly to see him or talk to him, i just went home repeatedly because i wanted to see if: 1) his friend came back to the house or not, because back when he invited his friend to the house, I introduced myself to his friend and shook his hand and even talked to him a little bit. I then wrote a simple good luck note to both my housemate and his friend for their exams. After they received the note, his friend stopped coming and i was worried that my over-friendliness might have scared him off or annoyed him.

2) I wanted to check if my housemate was using the common area or living room. Because like his friend, i was afraid that i might have scared him off with my over-friendliness and he felt the need to hide in his room from me. I didn't want him to avoid using the living room because of his avoidance of me because his room was small and i wanted him to be able to enjoy the living room.

I guess these two reasons made me anxious and made me want to go back home repeatedly to check if things were ok and my over-friendliness did not leave any irreversible mistakes.

-- Fri May 18, 2018 3:03 pm --

So i guess, i feel better that i wasn't a clingy housemate but an anxious one?? because even with the multiple returns, I didnt actually see him or talked to him.

i guess the note would be a little weird but not too much. even i've written letters. he must've thought 'that guy is a bit emotional' but i'm sure he wouldnt have discussed this at length.

i think you're a great friend. it was very kind of you to write that note. its just that everyone is different. some people are more expressive of their feelings than others.

dont let this act flood your mind with guilt because you havent hurt anyone or done any wrong. take care.

the best way we can help others, is by achieving super success in life n be an inspiration to others.