Mistakes from the past showing up now..

When I was very young about 10 yo I experimented sexually with my little brother. Nothing forced or violent or abuse but it was wrong nonetheless and I’ve suffered from anxiety and Sever guilt for years over it. I’ve learned to semi forgive myself after all these years and we get along great we have a good healthy brotherly relationship. I am in my early twenties and he is 16.

However, just recently he has commented to my mother and I that he has a lot of anxiety and is considering a psychologist. I got instant anxiety from the thought of my stupid mistakes coming out into the light but I’m more worried about the repercussions on his psyche that are just now having effects.. Will he be fine? How can I help? What do I do if my family finds out what I did years ago?

I think if they find out you have to be open and honest while still being realistic about your age at the time. I do feel your are potentially catastrophising though as - if it does come to light - it might be something you are able to work through as a family or in therapy. Realistically you are very unlikely to be arrested for behaviour committed as a 10-year-old so this is more a matter of your and your brother's mental health and how your both function and fit in within the family unit.

Do you think there might be other things going on in your brother's life causing him anxiety? Have you asked him about how he is feeling or anything he might be worried about?

I guess you are right in the sense that I have to accept what I did so that when the time comes I will be able to cooperate in helping more thoroughly. I was not thinking that I would be arrested to be honest with you. I am more worried about the mental health aspect. We have a bit of a difficult family; divorce, step family, overly strict and difficult father all of which cause anxiety in and of themselves. We actually share rooms right now since I just got a new job so we talk often but he mainly just says he gets social anxiety and anxiety about long car rides, future problems, etc.

I feel that if it was related to what happened years ago he wouldnt feel comfortable talking to me about it...idk. It doesn't change the fact that I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life.