Need clarification ASAP! PLEASE!

This is a post regarding childhood sexual experimentation

When I was 11-12 years old I remember experimenting sexually with my younger cousin, who was like 2 or 3 at the time, and telling him to lick and touch my penis for brief moment, and nothing ever transpired further from there. This happened on 2 occasions I believe, this was so long ago so I don't have the best memory of it. i had no logical knowledge of sex at the time besides being overexposed to porn at that same age also, nor had I even masturbated yet. I didn't even know how sex worked, and I remember wondering if the reason that sexual contact felt good was because someone else was touching my penis and not me, hence why I experimented. I did not get an erection either time because, like I said, I was so young and not fully developed. I may have knew it was wrong but I didn't have a full understanding of the extent of my actions, let alone these actions were driven by curiosity and not sexual attraction.

I went on living for the next 10 or so years and hadn't even thought about this, and my cousin is a normal high school kid now and does not seem to be affected nor remember anything. Once I learned to masturbate and how it worked I watched normal straight porn and had girlfriends and a healthy sex life growing up. I even had girlfriends (not serious of course) in grade 6 around the time I experiemened. I feel terrible to think that I may have abused him as a kid and I feel like I should have known better and I am a terrible person. I suffer from OCD, specifically harm and pedophile themed and I can't get over that I did that. I try to tell myself that I was just a kid but my OCD keeps telling me "I knew better and liked it" when I ######6 HATE IT.

Please, someone shed some light on my situations as this is driving me insane.

I would never in MY LIFE hurt or abuse an innocent being nor I do have ANY sexual attraction to kids.

Please, someone help me get over this.

You are absolutely not a pedophile and you certainly were a kid. The fact that your cousins seems healthy and well is the most important thing. You need to try speaking to yourself about this as you would any other 11/12-year-old kid. I'm sure you'd speak far more kindly to a kid of that age that you are currently speaking to yourself.

As Sprock said, see that 12 year old kid as a different person (because that's what they essentially are). What would you say to them? I think you would speak to them compassionately and with concern, but a gentle concern.

OCD can be overcome with proper therapy, if you choose to explore that. In the meantime, try not to self identify with the OCD part of the mind. It's playing games. And games that our rational mind wouldn't otherwise play! So just say "I'm not playing". It's just a thought. It can't hurt you UNLESS you identify with it.

The truth is you are not that 12 year old kid any more. Your atoms have turned over numerous times in your body and brain. The only thing left is a memory, an image. What makes that memory so much more significant is there's a sense of continuity linking it to your present being. Well I'm not going to deny that sense of continuity doesn't exist, but it's purely conceptual. In reality, you're in a position where you can look at that 12 year old as a different entity. In reality, that 12 year old boy doesn't exist any more, both physically and mentally. You keep him alive through your obsessive thoughts about him. Let him go. Let him be in the past where he belongs. Enter the present where YOU exist.