Please help me overcome this

this is very difficult for me to type. for context, i have severe OCD and anxiety, as well as depression.

hi there, i've committed what i believe to be an unforgivable sin. i grew up with a dog and two cats. when i was in middle school, about 7th or 8th grade, i was beginning to explore myself sexually. i had just learned how to masturbate and was very eager to explore these feelings. the way i chose to explore them, however, were not very wise.

i have memories of letting my dog lick my genitals, holding onto and rubbing my genitals against my pets because i liked the sensation (never anything penetrative), etc. i feel an incredible amount of guilt and disgust with myself as a person for having committed such misdeeds. i remember hearing a joke made about letting dogs lick you on TV, maybe that normalized it in my head?

some years had passed, and when i was somewhere around 17/19, i let my dog lick me again. i feel like this seals the deal, my actions are unforgivable and i am a lost cause of a person who will never be worth anything. i am in no way attracted to animals, the only thing i wanted out of this was to know what oral sex felt like. i frown upon bestiality.

Now, at 23 years old, i realize how heinous these actions were. i have so much remorse in my heart and i would do anything to undo these terrible, terrible actions. i feel sick to my stomach. i can't move on. i don't know how to move past this. if the world found out about these things my life would be over. i don't know how to make things right. please help me.

Okay...

First off, I'm not sure exactly what the Unforgivable Sin is, but I'm pretty sure, that ain't it.

You are far, far far, from the first young person, to have let a dog lick them, or otherwise performed some mild sexual act with a pet, that wasn't harmful to anything or anyone. Kids do crazy things and sometimes even when you're a little older. Been there, done that, I'm sure it's way more common than you think.

The only way to make this right, is to forgive yourself and put it down to being young and dumb, in my opinion. This isn't the catastrophe you seem to think-you mention sin, if you're a believer ask for forgiveness and have some faith that it is okay, please don't be so hard on yourself. Kids and young people try all sorts of crazy things.

I often find comedy can help us appreciate that we are all human, even though of us who have done something stupid or regrettable or genuinely hurtful. I do not believe what you did was genuinely hurtful, but it was probably stupid and regrettable. However, it is far from some kind of Ultimate Sin. It miiiight help you to watch what seems to be a pretty compassionate and level-headed comedy drama on the subject. At the very least it shows that it is not as uncommon as one might think:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeping_Dogs_Lie_(2006_film)

All very best,
Sprock