Believing what people say. Opinions on this please!

When I was 19 I went onto an app called "whisper" and said I touched my nephews penis once when he was asleep. I was 14, he was 8 and we shared a bed. Anyways it was when people responded to the post asking "are you boy or girl" because they said it's okay if I was a girl but I'm a molester if I'm a boy. I am a boy and this made me then convince myself that I molested one of the people I care about most. That I committed the unspeakable and deserved to die. Then someone said "you're guilty because you know you did something bad and deserved to feel guilty". To this day I still believe what that person said and even though I've been told by multiple people that I didn't do anything evil or anything I still believe what that person said. I sometimes feel that I use my OCD,GAD and Depression as an excuse to cover up the crime I committed. Even though I know I didn't commit a crime. It wasn't pre meditated, done with malicious intent and it only happened once. What are opinions on this?

I find the judgement surrounding whether you are a girl or boy to be an unhelpful distinction to make on this matter.

On what rational grounds do you believe the person who made this distinction?

However, it is true that you feel guilty because you know you did someone wrong. The question is, how does that guilt serve you and others in the present?

Countless harmful things are done every day across the population. What matters is how we respond to the guilt if and when it arises. If you can turn one bad thing in the past into several amazing things now and in the future, then that is far better than condemning yourself to a life of hopelessness.

Thoughts about "deserving to die" are never useful. Even if you accept the death penalty, as practiced in some jurisdictions, it is mostly reserved for people who have taken life in the most callous way. Even then, moral questions are raised over the value of such forms of retribution.

I know it's tempting to get other people's opinions on these matters. But by doing so you open yourself up to some very poor reasoning (such as girl = OK, boy = molester).

The true value of guilt/remorse is in how we use it to fuel positive action, whether that be through making amends or making life better for others. The past doesn't change the value of what you can offer the world in this moment.