Do i deserve death?

I already had a hard time wirh depression and letting of something i did in the past as a young teen. Now im 17 and when i was 16 i think i did something really bad. I was suffering from schizophrenka or psychosis. One time i saw my teacher leaning on the desk. Her arms were on the desk office and her back was bent and her butt was blocking my exit out of the office. In my mind told me to wait but i think i wanted to go through to feel my genitals in my pants to touch her butt. I went through my genitals in my pants touched her butt as i went through. My teacher did not notice. I felt anxiety and guilt for commiting a sin. Now i feel sucidal to much loads of more guilt. Because feel like even though she did not notice i feel like i sexually assaulted or groped ir crossed a line. And even more sucidal for the fact after the event during young teen i promise myself never get into a very violent situation or sexual offenses because i then truly lost it all and i feel i cant change. Am i overacting or is this guilt normal.

You absolutely do not deserve death. I think the idea of "deserving" death is dubious/ flawed anyway since we're all as much a part of the universe as anyone or anything else. However, when people do talk about someone deserving death it is generally because they have either literally ended someone's life or destroyed someone's life in a more metaphorical (but emotionally real) sense - you have done neither. Not even close.

I sincerely doubt your behaviour was criminal. In fact, the behaviour itself was essentially normal (squeezing past someone) and I wonder if you haven't maybe made your intentions seem more deviant in retrospect.

You are definitely over-reacting. Be more careful of personal space in the future and you'll be fine!

I feel a bit better. But i still cant overcome the guilt. Because i i think i did it intentionally but i am a schizophrenic. But since i think it was intentional my mind is telling me i am sexual predator and that can never be changed. Idea of suicide is open to me.

You are **not a sexual predator** and intrusive thoughts are, more often than not, not true