Panic atacks/anxiety

Hello.
Here's the thing.
I lived my whole life with anxioty. Some times didnt even felt it for years (long time ago )
My femaly has a history of anxioty so i guess it's on my genes.

I'm a 25 years old guy that when i was 12/13 years old i had sex with a boy (6 years old).
I fell very guilty about what i did and when i thin about what i did i get extreme axiety and panic atacks sometimes. I was only a kid and i read online that it's kinda normal por people at they're age to try new stuff.
I'm not a pedo, don't have any sexual arousal for kids at all.
Just want to know if that makes me a monster, or if it really that normal at that age.
And what type of things can i do to calm my self down? I usually take 1 pill of diazepam 5mg but that is just temporary.

Regards

You're definitely not a monster. You were a young kid. Your brain wasn't fully formed. Do you know what became of the boy?