Remorse triggering Anxiety and Blood Pressure

hi all.

Please read this patiently and help me out.

I m male, 40, married with 8 years daughter. in a nutshell, i ve a screwed up life starting right from the dawn of age of consciousness. lately, i was in a hospital, where i fell in love with a lady doctor at first sight. she was young like around 25. one day i came to know she is a psychologist and i got an appointment and started sessions with her. she was very co-operative (i know her professional acumen required it so but i ve been to psychologists even before, this lady was genuinely different, trust me). She also provided me constant support via emails and cell phone when i was feeling suicidal. her texts were the only connection between me and my life. i fell even more deeply and revealed my feelings to her. she cut off all contact with me. and thrashed me so bad. her exact words are these
"you have tarnished your impression. i m ashamed of thinking of you as an elder brother. i am not a street girl and i m not going to take your sessions any more as you just come for sight seeing and not for psychotherapy. your every more and every word is harassing for me. i will sue you and i have laws protecting me against harassers like you"
after her these words, she has cut off all access to her. its been 3 weeks and i m into cycle of obsessive thoughts, every night i refute for 2 to 3 hours in my head and end up with raised palpitation, blood pressure and congested chest. i am taking alpraxolam to sleep. i feel REMORSE over my behavior that made a very good person my enemy. i want to ask "was it a sin falling in love with her? and if not...why she treated me so bad. she is a psychologist, and i was (am) a patient with so emptiness in life. wasnt it predictable for me to fall for her? doesnt she consider her such attitude will leave me half dead? why she did it? i need answer which i cant get from her as she is not communicating. she said i approached her one more time and she is going to file a case against me.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RECONCILE ME. I THINK I WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE HEART ATTACK!!!!

Your feelings weren't appropriate per se, but your expression of them was clearly undesired and not appropriate to a professional environment. She was not your friend but engaged in a professional, therapeutic relationship with you. Her reaction may seem harsh, but she was probably a bit freaked out. However, you haven't committed a crime and I do not believe you have traumatised her. I do however think you will have to put this behind you and not contact her again. I'm sorry.

I am sorry you are feeling so bad,
I agree that expressing your love for her would freak her out, she may have said those things out of initial reaction and possibly being shocked by what you said, everyone makes mistakes and you were feeling very depressed as you said so you were probably reaching out to the closest person and someone who was showing you support.

I think you did not truly love this person it was more perhaps a distraction for you maybe, focus on loving yourself and being more forgiving of yourself, you are only human I am trying to do the same, best of luck and take care.