Am I a Monster?

I feel like I have done something terrible. The other day I was scrolling through instagram for a certain hashtag, when I saw a picture with a mom and her daughter. The daughter was in the bath, and appeared to have breasts. I was disgusted by this and immediately scrolled past it. I felt very guilty about this, even though it was an accident. I then thought that it was impossible for a child to have breasts, thinking that they are developed from pre teen onwards and never earlier,so I decided to look for the picture again to confirm what I saw, thinking at the time that this was a bad idea as if I really did see what I thought I saw, it would be terrible to know I had gone back to the photo, but I did it anyways as I felt rwally anxious to try and confirm it was just a normal photo.I felt like if it turned out to just be a normal photo, then it wouldn't have been a big deal. I found what I thought was the picture and it was normal, so I was relieved. I then saw the actual picture while scrolling through the feed, and clicked into it and saw that the child did have breasts. I don't remember how many times I clicked in and out of it, or why I kept looking at it, but I do know that it was nothing sexual as I am not a pedophile. I think it may have been a car accident type thing, as in something terrible that you can't look away. Im pretty sure I only clicked on it the one time just to verify that it was what I thought I had seen, but I can't remember exactly so it causes me great anxiety that I might have looked at the image for a longer time. This whole time I felt much disgust and, scrolled away from the image. I then felt like I should report the image, as I felt like it was inappropriate, so I did. My question is, is it possible that maybe this was just a normal picture and nothing innapropriate as I always thought that females develop breasts in their teens or pre teens, this child was only a toddler, and should I feel guilty for ever going back to the image. I feel like I might have looked at it for longer than I feel like I did as well, and even though it was nothing sexual for sure, I feel like as though even if I did go back to it only once to verify what I thought I saw, this would still be irredeemably wrong as I knew it was an innappropriate picture from the start. I feel that atleast knowing it was wrong and reporting it was right, but feel ever going back to that picture was terrible amd irredeemable.

It sounds like it was a compulsive act, but not a sexual one. From what you say the picture wasn't pornographic so I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. You weren't endorsing or supporting abuse and you're not a pedophile.

Thank you so much Sprock, you are a very kind soul.

That's sweet of you to say. Like you, I often feel monstrous and sometimes more broken than others, but I try and at the end of the day since I've chosen life that's all I can do!

Morbid curiosity, that's all. Everyone has it to varying degrees.

Morbid curiosity, that's all. Everyone has it to varying degrees.