Looking at young girls at the pool. (Trigger Warning)

Hello Group,
This is a subject I've dealt with most of my adolescent years and into my adult life.
I do feel shame and remorse, but I cannot control my urges to look at young girls.
It's a year round thing, but I get triggered more during the Summer months.
I do not make it a point to go out of my way to "hang out" at the pool near my home.
Usually I will notice girls as young as 10 coming or going when I'm out getting my mail/etc.
I also understand it's considered "normal" to be mildly attracted to adolescent aged girls.
But I'll be honest, I do believe I have some tendencies of being a full blown pedophile.
Although, I try not to be too obvious, I will look obsessively at any given chance.
Is this something I will just have to learn to live with and control my urges as best I can?
Or is there cognitive or other types of therapy that could turn my thought process around.
I wish I wasn't this way, but I have enough self control not to turn my thoughts into actions.
Guess I just want to know if anyone use to be like me and turned their life around.
Thanks for reading...

As long as you have not acted on these feelings I do not think you have anything to feel remorseful about, but I am glad you recognise that your desires are potentially a problem. I actually do think CBT could be useful for you and I hope you are able to find a therapist that specialises in it.

Also, everyone has weird or troubling thought processes. The brain is one's private space and I'd hate to see anyone criminalised or demonised for what goes on in their head. I think it is best if you manage to resist the urge to look as if a girl say this they might well find it upsetting or threatening. If you cannot find a therapist there are sites online that offer free CBT courses.

http://www.get.gg/

Thank You for the reply, sprock and for the link. It looks like a good site.
I should mention, I'm under the care of a Psychiatrist for med management due to Bi-polar.
Although, it has been some time since I've been to see a therapist for CBT.
One of the reasons being, Where I go, the therapist sometimes don't remain long and move on. It's difficult to build trust with one and then they change jobs for their own personal reasons.
Trust is a big issue for me. Ironically, I feel safer here acknowledging my darkest secrets to strangers on this board. I feel like I have a certain level of anonymity.
When talking to a therapist, they have all my information in front of them. It tends to leads to more anxiety to be as open and transparent with them as possible.
That's something I need to work on with myself and a good therapist. One who I can build a rapport with. And also have some assurance that they'll remain there for me.
Thanks again...

forgive me for saying this but i've a similar problem that i won't explain in detail because it's a very long story.
aar, uhm ... look, sometimes when i'm watching a film or something i see a girl too young to think sexy of (around 10 or 12), but i can't help ... damnit! i hate it too much to admit it but uhm...

i've a childhood teddybear that i had since birth i think. it's a cute cuddly object, but utterly non-sexual, exactly as a child should be to me.
i've been trying to associate children i see (in that way, doesn't happen often) with the teddy bear. i'd pick it up and hold it next to it, and try to feel the same way, you see? i feel like i booked some level of success, seeing them in the same way.

but then i was never a pedophlegm. i just ... messed myself up with modeling pickles back when i was really, really ... out of it.

there weren't any nearly ripe pickles, so uhm... i was so ###$ up though. i was sometimes psychotic and no-one ever knew. i often had no idea what i was doing. i would literally not know...

(they confirmed i'm schizotypal)

anyway, i thought you might find the teddybear anecdote interesting.

Dont jump into conclusions too quickly.This behavior is not necessarily pedophilic.I had a problem very similar to yours,when I was 12~14 ,which cost me 8 years of fear and guilt,and was diagnosed with POCD by 6 professionals I visited in my decree."pedophilic" behaviours are not always indicators of pedophilia.Hear this...you know which disorders create such behaviors that are not pedophilia,according to the DSM? Adhd and BD.You do have the second don't you?My case was hypersexuality,and I indeed was throughout my childhood and preteen years.Don't panic find someone and tell everything.Pedophilia is not much different from a sexual orientation it does not only includes what you describe.It is accompanied by romantic emotions,passion,intense(note this) urges.Things are not as simple as we think...took me years to find out,don't follow my steps and pass a life in fear and agony...ask for help there is a very good chance you are not a pedophile!!!