I want to start off by saying that I was never abused as a child in any form and I can't stand that type of thing.
It disgusts me in all forms.
But I recently recalled an event from my childhood that has been troubling me. So basically when I was around eleven and my friend was probably nine or ten we kinda had a brief intense dry humping moment. This only happened once and was not a continuing thing. We were both fully clothed. I got aroused and semi-ejaculated and I say semi because nothing really came out as I wasn't at that stage .....But basically we were just on the floor wrestling (cause we were big fans of WWE) and I dry humped him while kinda fake punching him and then his counter was to do it to me.
I'm actually still really really great friends with this guy and he seems to be doing fine. I mean like happy and we regularly talk and joke around constantly. He's my buddy LOL... I'm not sure if he even remembers it (Hell...I barely do tbh). But I remember after it happened we both just shrugged and started playing video games. I recall asking him about it to at one point like a week or a month later and his only response was "That's gay...." with a snort or chuckle.
We were both....most of all me (puberty was starting to set in) were only just starting to really become aware of sex and sexuality. I kinda did really weird stuff in my early stages of puberty. I masturbated or tried to best I could and dry humped pillows and stuff a lot. I'm an adult now and I am just a regular, heterosexual (for grown women of course) and comfortable with who I am. But I've been freaking out over this for the last two days as I am someone who really really hates abusers and rapists but I feel very ashamed of this all of a sudden. In the past I just kinda chalked it up to a random obscure event in my childhood. But I'm worried I did something terrible (I'm not so concerned he did it to me) but I've also heard this is normal for some children to do this to each other or similar things.
I know I had to be somewhat aware of sexual activity then (at eleven) but not in anyway like I am now and certainly didn't comprehend it as I do now as an adult. But....its just been bothering me and it never has before but maybe that's cause I thought it was kids being stupid but lately for some reason just been feeling different about it.
So is this something to be ashamed or concerned about (is this a serious offense) or was it just a normal event that sometimes happens to kids when they dont know any better?