called my son an asshole.

Yesterday I spent a half hour organising change i had counting it, i left the room to use the toilet and my son had thrown the change back into the main bag, therefore undoing all of my work, it has been a long week and one of the major issues is I was hungover too, I am usually quite good at not losing my temper because i feel so badly after I do.

When i realised what he had done I lost it, I called him an idiot and a dope and gave out to him, i was so mad i called him an asshole, he is 3 and a half, i feel so terrible, i hugged him afterwards and said i was so sorry and i told him to slap my hand for being so bold, i went for lunch with him today and have been giving him lots of cuddles and kisses and i told him again i was sorry and i love him so much.

I am going to deal with the issue which is alcohol, if i was not hungover i would never have done this, also i was counting the money so i would have money to have a drink that evening. I am quitting drinking for sure as this has really upset me, i just feel so so bad about this.

You're taking a good step if you stick to those words. Make others around you hold you accountable too if it helps (in terms of sticking to your goal of cutting out the alcohol).

Your kid is going to be going through some formative years and I know you don't want him to be imprinted with the idea that love is when your own dad yells at you while he's hungover. No kid deserves that growing up and if you stick to that plan your son won't have to go through that. You can do it!

I think the fact you apologised and hugged him will teach him a very valuable lesson in itself - that people do lose their temper sometimes, but it's something they regret and are willing to apologise for.

So when he loses his temper (which he inevitably will at some point) and lashes out at someone close to him, he'll know what to do after the storm has calmed.

Focus on the positives - you have shown him humility by apologising and acknowledging your mistake.

Love wins in the end.

thank you Epiphany, actually strangely enough last night my 3rd night unable to sleep over this, I had an epiphany that really alot of my sadness was the lack of remorse for hurtful actions I was shown grown up, my father would upset me but he would never hug me and admit he was wrong.

As a result of emotional abuse in life I have a really hard time dealing with the ups and downs in my relationships with those I love, I take everything extremely seriously and fear a major consequence that will take away the love we have for one another.

Thank you for telling me that it teaches him a lesson, I appreciate that but it has also thought me i need to look after my feelings so i do not get to that point, I have quit drinking also.

85 perecent of the time I am a really loving and patient mother but even when i mess up I can be loving and patient mother, I can learn to cope with the ups and downs and know it does not mean catastrophe, once you have a healthy relationship and you are accountable for your actions, which my parents were not ( they only blamed and shamed), I can be okay, love does win and I love him to the moon and back.x