Depression about possible abuse to my cousin?

Alright Im gonna start off by saying I do NOT have any attraction to kids and I am deeply disgusted of anything of that sort. I remember when I was around 13-15 that id play around with my smaller cousin who was around 6-7 all these dumb games. I remember she was laying next to me on the couch when we were chasing each other around the house and then when we were on the couch Id dryhump her leg and back (i really dont think i did it to her butt but maybe) lightly when she was next to me. All i remember is i was like rolling around and then id like rub my genitals on her back and push her off the couch as a game. She kept running back to the couch and then id push her off again. I remember this happened around 3 times total and it wasn't forced and we had our clothes on. Her reaction was playful and was annoyed that I kept pushing her off the couch. She didnt touch my genitals or me hers, I would have remembered this if it happened. I also remember kissing her one time and saying dont tell anyone or someone might think were lovers. I remember feeling guilty finally when I was 15 that I told myself I would never do this again.

Fast forward 4 years I havent seen her and im an adult and I feel so bad about doing this. I go over to see her at the end of the month (she will be around 11) and im just worried she might hate me about this when shes older. To be honest I dont know if she was aware of what I was doing when I was smaller or shell think im some sort of monster. I love her dearly and would hate for this to have affected her. I feel my depression creeping up on me and every time I hear the word abuse I just think of me. I told my parents both what happened and they said that it is normal to have these experiences and that I should not feel guilty and move on. But still I obsess over this day and night and I feel so sad, I think i may have ocd or something. ): what do you guys think?

I think it was wrong, but that you were a kid. I also think what you did should not be considered as severely as contact/ penetrative abuse. Since what you did was just about on the far reaches of horseplay, it seems entirely possible that your cousin will not be traumatised by what you did. Basically, I think you should try to direct your focus elsewhere and play it by ear. Do not bring up the issue in the future unless she does. Also, allow yourself some distance from your younger self since you were a child and you are now an adult. As such, I believe you are allowed to draw a line in the sand. There is a good reason why a child's criminal convictions often do not follow them into adulthood and are struck from their record. Therapy might be useful, but generally you should cut yourself some slack.