Am i a sicko? I feel terrible *TW*

For some reason this memory came back to me all of the sudden it is vague but i do remember it. When i was around 11-12 i was holding my little cousin who wad probably 2 at the time in the pool and she started to bounce up and down and for some reason i liked the feeling so i kind started moving my hips aswell for maybe 3-4 seconds then i thought to myself stop man. I was wearing all my clothes cause i had no trunks and she was wearing clothes aswell. But now im 22 years old and this memory haunts me everyday. Why did i do that. I know i wouldnt ever want to hurt anyone especially a child and ive damn sure never been attracted to one or thought any sick thoughts. But i cant get this out of my head it makes me feel like a pervert.

You are **not** a sicko for doing something weird as a kid. I am sure your little cousin has no memory of this, which I do not believe was sexual in intent, nor sadistic or part of a power play. You experienced a sensation which you liked and you thoughtlessly continued your childish behaviour. It was not inappropriate, but it was not monstrous. Think about how you'd respond to an 11/12-year-old who did this who was not you. You might tell them off or even recommend therapy, but you wouldn't call them a sicko and you certainly wouldn't expect them to feel burdened by their behaviour for life. Extend that same compassion to yourself.