Riddled with guilt

I don't know how to start this so I'm going to jump right in. When I was twelve and my brother was ten I abused my brother sexually, and now I am completely overcome with guilt. I'm not gay and I'm definitely not attracted to children. It was one time, I had never done anything like that before, and I haven't done anything since. I have felt absolutely horrible about it for years. Now it's fifteen years later and I was talking to my mother and she told me that my brother is "torn up" about something I did to him and that it's "eating him apart". I am going home for the first time in years this summer, it's been seven years since I moved away from my family, and I have only talked to him a handful of times since then. I don't know how I am going to really get over this. I feel like an absolute monster. How can I make amends?

i dont know what to say. i dont know the extent of the abuse or whether your brother is upset because of the abuse. maybe you could write him a letter or an email. i think that would be better before meeting him in person.