Living in regret

I have so, so much regret for my past actions. I can't move past them. They paralyze me. I think of them often and hate myself. I try and punish myself, but even that doesn't work. I feel like I can't punish myself enough. I'm even too ashamed to state the horrible things I've done, like basically killing my own mother. I may not have pulled the trigger, but it was all my fault. I just can't move on. There's just too much.

-- Tue Mar 22, 2016 10:10 pm --

No advice?

Sorry - was away for a few weeks. You might find some of the quotes at the top of the 'Remorse' section helpful. More specifically, it sounds as thought you did not kill your own mother. There isn't always a single cause and effect involved in all events. Maybe you are over-determining your own responsibility in what happened? Have you thought about volunteering regularly as an act of atonement? Punishing yourself isn't helped anyone unless it moves you towards change and positive action!

Without getting into details, I genuinely did. I've also done many other terrible things. So many regrets. I tought about volunteering, but since I never helped her, I feel guilty helping others.

It's hard for me to know whether you are putting to much blame on yourself, or being realistic about the cause of your mother's death, though I suspect the former. As for other terrible things, just looking at this sub-forum shows how varied the things people do are and more multiple the reasons. I still think the best think you to do in your mother's memory is to volunteer and live and good life.