remorse for grabbing a 14 yr old guy's posterior

i was traveling in train and this adolescent was leaning towards my chest. there was enough space but he continued to lean. he was an adolescent would be around 14 or 15 yrs old. i started fondling his ass. i regret it. i think i've set him on a destructive path towards self destruction n made him addicted to getting abused.

i was 24 yrs old then.

I'm sorry you have been carrying this around for so long. I can't speak for certain, but I know many, many people who have experienced sexual harassment on public transportation, and nobody I know has become self-destructive or addicted to abuse as a result of it Harassment on public transportation is incredibly common, so I'm sure that if that incident was upsetting to him, he would have a network of people to talk to about it, so he would be able to process it in a healthy manner. I hope you can absolve yourself of guilt about his current state! If you wanted to try to make your remorse constructive, you could always try to find online boards for people who have been groped in public and try to help survivors.

the reason i think i've put him on path towards self-destruction is well he seemed to be continuing to lean towards me even after i grabbed his ass n he continued to it. so i think i've like made him a sex addict.

i mean that's how i became a sex addict, though my child sex experiences were more extreme and prolonged.

the guilt has reduced to some extent. i guess it's sort of turned to regret.

If I am honest, I think you need some space between these forums and yourself... you know that it was the abuse you experienced that led to your unhealthy relationship with sex. In the vast majority of your sexually obsessive behaviour what you did was consensual and nothing to be ashamed about. I think it is appropriate to feel remorse for sexually harassing a teenage, but it is not something for you to be killing yourself over every day - esp. as I think at this stage it is actually inhibiting your growth. I really hope that you can develop a more positive relationship with your sexuality, maybe through therapy. I like you and think you are a lot, lot less deviant than you label yourself. But you need to slow yourself down. You are not in that place anymore and are moving forward. You haven't ruined anyone's lives. The only thing you have really ruined in your own self-respect. I honestly think doing good and being out in the world will slowly help with that. I think you deserve to treat yourself kinder, honestly I do.

Thanks.