Need serious advice

sprock wrote:It sounds like your relationship with your mother is characterised by a poor sense of boundaries tbh. Obviously I don't know her intent in allowing you to touch her breasts previously, but the most important thing now is that you do not have her continued consent to do so and it's a compulsion you need to have under control for both your own sake and others', which you seem to be managing, which is great!

My only concern is that you may need a longer-term plan than simply distracting yourself with homework or projects.

Well, I am starting to think you may be right. Infortunately this past weekend I tried to do the same again... I feel like I am dominating this issue more than ever because I haven't been doing as regularly as before but as we can see I still fall back once in a while. This won't last forever, it will end as soon as I go away from home, that will be the ultimate healing for me but for now I still mess up once in a while. Besides therapy, what other longer-term plans do you think that could help? Also, I know this is a weird question, but how can I eventually conciliate my sexual life with that problem I have? Sometimes I can't avoid having a sneak peek at sexual things on the internet and sometimes it causes me sometimes that urge to have the urge to touch my mother's tits. How can I erase the link between those two things?

I honestly think therapy (maybe specifically hypnotherapy) could help. Moving away from home should certainly help too. Obviously there is no problem if your large breasts fixation ends up becoming a feature of a mutually consensual relationship i.e. if you ended up in a relationship with a large chested woman who likes having her breasts touched, that'd be great! For the moment, you need to continue keeping yourself distracted. Are there any specific idols/ actresses/ pornographic actresses that you could transfer your attentions to or do you worry this might create a "stalkerish" obsession?

The problem about doing therapy would be having to tell my parents about that, and my dad wouldn't understand the reason at all and i don't know, he could be mad at me and think weird things. Also my family is short of money right now, mostly because each session must cost a bit much, so that would be tougher to handle.

Being in a relationship with a large chested woman would be something difficult to do, because not only I struggle at getting female friends but also people from my area don't seem to have relatively big breasts. Of course I don't stare at every woman who passes by me but I think in the overall that's how most woman are by here. Tbh I wouldn't mind getting a girl with smaller boobs, as long as I could have someone I can trust it would be just fine.

About women who I can transfer my attentions to, I have some virtual ones and I am kind of picky with that. I don't know if I should say this here but I actually have a small playlist of videos and women who have the boob size I like the most and the videos where I can fully enjoy that. The problem is, after some time it gets repetitive and I struggle quite a lot while searching new women/videos that could satisfy that. I also thought that one alternative could be going into a place where seeing/touching women naked would be allowed, there are places like that nearby and tbh I have been invited once to go there but I kinda feel ashamed to go there, and I don't know if I could feel confortable going there and do it. And I don't think I would create any stalkerish obsession at all, I think I am not the kind of guy to have that kind of obsession at some point.

You may want to see a therapist about this, if you are able to. It seems like you are obsessing over something that has been resolved. Good luck with everything!

pifsurm wrote:You may want to see a therapist about this, if you are able to. It seems like you are obsessing over something that has been resolved. Good luck with everything!

Yeah, maybe I am overthinking this. Lately I have been feeling that I am starting to enjoy boobs less than before. I mean, I still like them and I still want to play with some but not with the same desire as before. Even tho I still sometimes go to my mom's bedroom and I end up feeling her breasts somehow, I feel like I can stay away from them a bit more. But when I put my hand on one of them I just leave my hand there and feel the softness, and i do nothing else and she doesn't do anything against that, even if I do slight squeezes once in a while.

After telling this I ask this: I know this is wrong and I should fully stop, but since I am doing it this way only while she is awakened and she doesn't complain, perhaps I should just stay this way? It isn't as bad as doing it while she sleeps, because she isn't aware of what is happens and I try to do more (and worse). As I said, this is wrong and I should stop (and it will at some point as said in other posts), but at the same time I still want to do it because it feels good and she doesn't mind that much.

I know what I said above may sound bad but this is how I feel. This is slowly getting better but "tryharding" isn't helping. Things are naturally getting better, it's just a matter of time until this issue is totally over but I want to see how to handle this during the evolution of my situation.