I'm not sure if I should commit suicide or not, because sometimes my memories are over-exaggerated and not accurate but if they are I would probably hurt myself really badly.
Basically I grew up and still live in a household where my mother makes bad decisions and is emotionally abusive to my stepdad, me and my brother.
I also grew up in a household where my parents owned pets that they couldn't look after. I have essentially convinced them to rehome all of them but recently I have been thinking about it almost every hour of the day. I witnessed my mother hit my brother's dog and have trouble remembering it because I guess my brain has tried to block it out. I also block out memories of being hit by my father, but it's unrelated. I have a phobia of animal abuse and have OCD that makes me question if I have ever hit my dog but I have no memory of doing so. My parents also kept two birds caged and were irresponsible with feeding them (I knew this to an extent and did look after them but I always assumed they were reasonably cared for) and I can't believe I was so idle and ignorant of it. I rarely spent time with my family and never really thought of them as irresponsible till recently. I never did anything to stop all this happening in my household growing up and I'll never get over the past because it's too disgusting to let go of.