I'm not a career troll, I've never done anything like this before other than get into snarky arguments with people online over the years. I've never bullied anyone in real life. I'm shy and sensitive. But this is new and so unlike anything I've ever done to cope.
I post stories on a writing website, and a week ago I had what I think was a case of very bad PMS that had me reeling I was so out of it. Because of how I'm not the most popular writer (wanting to be the best has plagued me my whole life) I thought I'd leave guest comments on my rival's stories saying they've been reported for content that's against the rules. Just to scare them. Then that escalated and I made a sockpuppet account and put said stories on a list for other people to report.
Then it escalated again and I started telling people off, saying they've been reported, that I wished their story violated the terms so I could report them. Just mean and nasty things about their writing and stories. I made a list on my profile of people who had complied with the rules and those that have not. Truth is, I don't care about them violating the rules. It's just a platform to use to troll them.
I've gotten one person to stop writing, one deleted their story, and another deleted a few chapters. I mean yes, they were violating the rules but I was so mean about it. I'm a writer and I'm hindering their creativity. Just because I am so insanely angry and jealous that THEY get all the praise and attention when I don't. Being nice, sweet old me hasn't gotten me my fame, but this has. Easy. Instant. More people than I can count cussing me out and talking about me. That's all I wanted was everyone to know me and talk about me. My whole life.
And the worst part? I've trolled myself with this account. So now everyone thinks I'm a victim of the troll. The people I've targeted have talked to me about how awful this troll is and I'll agree. I mean, I've gone so far as to go after people that read my stories, commented and prasied, then never continued. I wanted them to suffer for having forgotten about me and tossed me aside.
I'm going back and forth from having fun with this, enjoying all the attention my way, and crying and feeling so horrible about it. I'll be having a conversation with a perfectly lovely person with my real account, then telling them their writing is slop on the other. It's like an addiction that gets me high. Every day I tell myself this is the last day, that I'm done with this.
This ugliness has been building inside me for a long time, and now it's all coming out I guess.