Hello. This is my first time posting here and I'm extremely nervous. This is very difficult for me to write. I'm a female who when I was 13, allowed my younger male cousin who was 6, to touch me inappropriately. He humped me, kissed me on the lips and touched my crotch. I don't why I never stopped him. A part of just thought it was funny and normal. I really don't know how it all started, that part is a blur to me. I blocked this out of my mind for more than ten years, but I had flashbacks about it three years ago. I felt so sick and disgusted with myself. I tried talking to my mom about it which helped some, but now the guilt has resurfaced and I feel like I don't deserve anything, anyone, or to even live. I feel like a child molester, even though I never asked him to do any of these things, he just did him . I sometimes wonder if he was abused by someone himself since he knew so much for his age. I just want to move on with my life but I don't know how.
-- Thu Oct 01, 2015 10:22 am --
I never forced my cousin to do anything, but I didn't stop him either. I should have said something to his mother but I was afraid that he would switch it around on me. I just wonder why I didn't stop him. This guilt is eating me alive and every day it gets worse. I feel like a disgusting human who doesn't deserve to live and I don't blame if anyone on here is judging me. PMs are welcome.