Survivors, how would you feel in this situation? (Lengthy)

I met a girl a few months ago. Fell for her instantly and she fell for me hard, eventually. I recently, accidentally, and without her knowledge learned she was sexually abused at a young age and still has feelings for the abuser. I'm not judging. I had no idea, and I have no experience with this kind of thing. We saw each other a few days a week (college), and both being shy let passion build under the surface until it reached that inevitable breaking point. She decided to call things off then, telling me of a certain complication in her life, nothing too bad, but more than enough for a guy to get the message to stop right there. I took it *unreasonably* well, at first, but I was completely deaf to all the signs she sent me that internally she was in serious turmoil. I assumed we were both happily ignoring whatever was tormenting us. Depression, or at least its outward cues, was a huge part of what attracted us to each other. But again, she fully immersed herself in her depression and I tried to ignore my own. There might be some kind of male-female difference at work here.

Anyway, I was still entranced by her -- zombie-like -- and soon enough her warnings lost any sense of significance and I expected her to... I don't know. My conspiratorial mind was convinced there was more to the story. Maybe I kissed her the wrong way, maybe I came on too strong, or other things equally dumb. I said some ridiculous, wildly off-topic things to her, too, and at one point I asked, "How awful am I?"(seriously) She then said *she* was awful, and I was like, "Yeah..." but I promise I was teasing! I only ever tease with statements like that. Skip forward a few days, her eyes scream at the sight of me and she's avoiding me like I'm a leper.

She wasn't wrong. Probably, she came to some harsh realizations, with her supportive friends, that I'm no good. That I'm some kind of (potential) abuser. And I definitely have the potential to be one. It should be obvious by now that I have some serious empathic deficiencies. That's why I came to this site -- so I could learn about the state of mind of women with a past like hers in this situation.

No, in *this* situation, if you've read this far: Last week I made another mistake. I told her (how) I found out about her past (it was genuinely accidental and unexpected) And yeah, she was shocked. She played it cool, and I believed her for a good second. Inwardly, she was panicking, Had to be. I thought if I know she should know I know, because of honesty or truth or something. I thought, if I don't tell her I can never look her in the eye again... but then she doesn't want me to look her in the eye ever again... I thought maybe she already knows. I don't even know. Now I think this is a textbook case of a troubled girl falling for a narcissist and the narcissist wanting to get his supply back. And getting rightly ignored. A flood of memories I've been experiencing lately is reminding me that I normally have a very disconnected relationship to my past, and am assuredly broken. (no violent childhood traumas, though)

So what could she be going through right now? And is there nothing I can do but leave her the ###$ alone? How egocentric am I for taking that so badly? And really, if you were her, how would you feel? Panicked? Exposed? Angry? What range of emotions would you go through and how would you try to get over it? Not every choice you make would be the right one, but still, I'm aching to understand.