by PolarBearStare » Mon Sep 21, 2015 8:17 pm
Aww hun I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.
You're not a disgusting person and after reading what you did, which is the thing you're probably least proud of about yourself, I don't hate you at all.
You were a child yourself and as you said, you didn't think about what you were doing. You weren't trying to do anything sinister. OK, it was a wrong thing to do and I understand why you're upset with yourself, but you have felt so ashamed for so long that that seems like it's been a lot of punishment for a moment's foolishness.
I've done things I feel ashamed of too, it's part of being human and I know that's such a tough feeling to bear. But what happened is in the past and from what you've said it doesn't sound like you'd do it again. The fact that you feel so bad about it probably shows in itself that you're a good person who did a bad thing, because a bad person wouldn't care so much.
I hope you can find a way to let go of some of this shame. If I was your half brother I'd forgive you without a second thought.
Look after yourself and take care,
Lisa