Feel bad for what I shown my coworkers

Over a year ago, me and 2 other coworkers in there 60s started to talk about politics. Somehow I remember a video I seen of Budd Dwyer and his suicide video.(The one I seen did not show the act, only leading up to it. It maybe was a top 10 list or something). Anyway I mentioned it and I don't know if I suggested to watch it or not but we used one of there phones and looked up the video. What followed was horrifying. I had no idea that stuff could be shown on youtube at the time. They seemed disgusted by it as well.

Now they seem normal and everything seems the same but I can't help but feel bad, because maybe they were affected by it. I don't know. And never brought it up again. I just wish the video I seen was the one we watched.

I think if they seem fine and haven't brought it up they probably are fine.

Definitely a learning experience, but what you did / what happened was not out of the ordinary in many respects. Sadly even back when I was in secondary school kids in the class would spend their time on the computers looking up suicide videos.

Watching such material isn't illegal, but I don't think it's "good for the soul" (so to speak) and generally I don't think suicide (or murder) are acts that should be recorded in most cases.

But you didn't do *anything* terrible or evil. Go in peace and try not to worry

Thank you, I just felt bad that I could've impacted them extremely bad. Maybe I'm overreacting and maybe they are over it of didn't care. The feeling of unintentionally mentally harming them was very depressing.

I think you are over-reacting a little, but the fact that you felt concerned shows your compassion and care for your co-workers IMO. But there is no evidence they have been traumatised.

You told them about it and together, you looked up the video. They are grown men, they knew what they were looking up. I would say you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks guys it's been awhile. Maybe I'm putting what I think they should feel or what I feel onto them. Sucks thinking what if I traumatized them or something, when nothing really changed.

I'm glad you recognise this. I think maybe the material upset you and so you felt the need to share it so you would have others to discuss it with. A very human thing to do.

Hi, My two cents are that you shouldn't worry about it. People are more resilient than you may think, and on average (my opinion) I would say people are not affected long term by by things that do not directly affect themselves or there loved ones, or in this case, something that happened in the past that they were not even present for.

In situations like this, if they do end up being affected long term, I would expect that the culture of the country would coerce them to be optimistic about it, such as donate/start a charity, or something along those lines. I do not think they would be so negatively affected as you may think.

You on the other hand have to let this go considering that, because, the fact of the matter might be that you are making yourself the worst affected by that situation because of how you are handling it. More affected than anyone else that watched the video.

Yeah it's still eating at me. Like its something no one sees therefore I must have caused harm. I don't know why I didn't think it wouldn't show it, but I still feel responsible for mentioning it. I know that there are far worse videos out there but I didn't mean to see what we saw.

I don't work there anymore so I don't see them. I might be placing my feelings on to them as well. These are older guys. I'd say in there 60s, maybe they've seen this stuff before, who knows? I wish I didn't feel this burden of guilt. I was misled into thinking I wasn't going to see what we saw and certainly didn't think you could see that on YouTube.

Hope you're feeling better about this now. I've sure they're over it! ^^