I think I did a really bad thing. Please read

When I was 14 I touched my nephews penis when he was asleep because i wanted to see and know what another penis felt and looked like.he's 6 years younger than me. I remember I put his hand on mine for a lil bit to see what it was like to be touched. At this time in my life i was very lie self esteem and convinced I would never have a sex life when I got older because I believed I was too ugly. I know now this mindset was silly. I'm 19 now. I'm sure it was only a spur of the moment decision to touch his thing. I don't remember feeling any sexual attraction and I don't remember planning this. I only did it because we shared a bed. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have mattered who I shared a bed with,i think I probably would've still looked and touched their area whoever it was. It would've been less traumatic though if it was someone my age but I didn't have any friends then. My nephew was actually my best friend at that time. I was very curious about sex and sexuality at that age and I remember I didn't watch porn at that age because I didn't have internet access. I'm feeling seriously guilt and anxiety and depression now. I have this event playing on my mind all the time and it makes me feel worse. I feel like I'm a bad person and I don't deserve happiness. I can't feel happy. When I'm not thinking of this I automatically realise and go back to thinking of it. I know now you shouldn't touch someone's area when they sleep but back then I was a curious and silly kid. Why do I feel so bad now. Nobody even got hurt. Am I bad?

i tried to do a similar thing as a child. there was this neighbor n i tried to make out with him. though what i did was more intentional n he pushed me away.

in ur case i dont think the nephew remembers what happened. so what u did wudnt have had any effect on him.

you were a child. you didnt know any better. many kids experiment during adolescence. i guess the important thing is ur nephew probably doenst remember anything, so try to forgive urself for the act

You were 14 and now you re 19. Another person. This is that age when your mind progresses the most. By the way nobody got hurt. Stop feeling that terrible guilt, you have done nothing.

On the other side, I think you and your nephew will be good friends soon (as he also got older - similar age groups now) and you can help him a lot. So please stop thinking about that childish thing in your (and his) very childhood.