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Am I a really bad person??

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Am I a really bad person??

Postby teardrop_ » Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:26 pm

When I was 14 I touched my 8 year old nephew genitals when he was asleep one night. I was very sexually curious at that time. We had share a bed and i never would've done this if we didn't share a bed. Ever since I feel very disgusted in myself and I feel like crying with the guilt shame and I want it go away. I'm 19 now and I feel almost suicidal because I know now what a bad thing it is. I feel physically sick. I never desired or intended on doing it and never have done it again. I feel like of I told my parents or family they'd hate me. I told my therapist and another person and they assured me that I didn't do anything bad. was just normal curiosity but I can't help but feel like I'm a criminal :(
Am I a bad person?
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Re: Am I a really bad person??

Postby sprock » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:15 pm

I would say it was a foolish and regrettable thing to do. I'm glad that you'll never do it again. I don't think it necessarily makes you a bad person, however. I'm generally sceptical of the idea that one, isolated act (even an evil one - which I don't think your action was) should forever define someone as a "bad person" - though really it's hard to make such firm categorisations when it comes to most humans.

Importantly, you were still a child when you did what you did and it does sound like it came from a place of curiosity. For those reasons, I think you deserve to cut yourself some slack and move on - or, at the very least, not spend all day every day thinking about it. :)
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Re: Am I a really bad person??

Postby teardrop_ » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:28 pm

It was foolish and stupid and the worst thing I've ever done. I saw your reply to my other posts and yes they're all related to the same indecent. The very thought of doing that again to someone makes me sick. Even though all I did was touch a little and put his hand on mine for a couple mins when he was asleep. One time incident never planned and never to be repeated.
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Re: Am I a really bad person??

Postby sprock » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:33 pm

I absolutely believe you and don't think for a moment you will reoffend. As such, I think you should draw a line under what you did as a child and now as an adult consider your life a new start. Kids tend to get their records expunged at 18 or 21 because it is only fair and just than an adult should not have to be defined by their behaviour as a young child for their entire life. I think it's good that you recognise that what you did was foolish and stupid and wrong... but you should also have it in perspective in your mind. It wasn't evil, or done with malicious intent. Plus, you shouldn't judge a child's behaviour in exactly the same way as you would an adult's. You were a kid, you have learnt and I strongly believe you can put good out into the world. :)
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Re: Am I a really bad person??

Postby helpfulone1 » Sun Aug 02, 2015 2:24 am

You're fine.
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