Child-on-child sexual abuse - I did something horrible.

When I was a little girl, this girl and I were role playing mom and dad. I was around age 7-8 and she, 6-7. I remember initiating that we could get naked in our underwear and kiss on the lips (pecks) under the blankets like "real couples" do. I *think* however only I got naked in my underwear. I may have said, if I remember correctly, that it would be be boring otherwise and I wouldn't want to play if it got boring, which I realize today that it was very manipulative of me. During our play, she was smiling a lot but she seemed uneasy as well and I think it was because of nervousness. I don't know how enthusiatic she was about this, if she now had any enthusiasm in her, which I highly doubt. I think she also suggested that we skip the kissing... but I told her I don't want to play if that was the case "cause it'd be boring".. which means I coerced her. Shortly after, she said "I don't want to play anymore" and we stopped playing and stated doing individual things.

I realize that legally, I'm fine. But after looking up the effects and symptoms of child-on-child sexual abuse, I'm devastated. It's killing me. I have never ever felt so guilty and sick before. I never want to have such an impact on anybody. I haven't met up with her in years so I don't know how she is doing but I pray to all the gods that exists that she's fine. I may have ruined someone's mental health and if so, I don't ever deserve any hospitality. I just want to fix this.. although I don't think there is a way. I feel sick to my stomach.

Honestly, I think if you can find her on Facebook or other forms of social and just get the gist of how shes doing, that would at least be a start.

As for your own mental state, you must realize that it was just simple experimentation, and BOTH of you had the potential to be mentally scarred during this action. However, your actions were off innocence and not malice, and off general curiosity.

If this is still bothering you, therapy is a viable option, so a professional could give you can insight on how to handle your guilt. Honestly, this seems nothing to confront the other individual about, it seems like simple experimentation that was not severe.

Also a 7-8 can NOT coerce someone with evil intentions. They themselves have no idea what their doing. You did what you did, and trust me, this is NOT severe. The devastating effects of child on child sex abuse usually happens when experimentation becomes extreme, this truly seemed like a light case. Shes probably ok. and you deserve to be too.

Absolutely agree with Zonofo's post. You were a tiny child, younger than the age of legal responsibility and it makes no sense to judge yourself by the moral actions of a 7 or 8-year-old. It also sounds closer to experimentation than abuse. Please don't beat yourself up about this. You are in no way evil.

Thank you so much, both of you. I feel a little better now.

panicking wrote:Thank you so much, both of you. I feel a little better now.

No problem! Your guilt alone speaks volumes for your humanity(that being guilt for a situation as a minor experimentation). Learn to love and accept yourself, and you will break free of your guilt. I wish you the best .

Glad you feel a little better. Please try to hold onto that emotion!