by sprock » Sat Oct 25, 2014 4:59 pm
So glad you have talked to a therapist about this. Even if he is the most charming and attractive 17-year-old in the world and utterly willing, it absolutely isn't worth it.
I committed statutory rape against a girl who was turning 17 when I was a few years younger than you are now and while she's twice declined to press charges (after I offered) and doesn't consider herself a victim of child molestation, it's still something that eats me up inside every day and I can't imagine ever really forgiving myself for (although, as Epiphany has often pointed out, the idea of forgiving oneself is something of a contradiction in terms). I'm trying to keep going as I know that killing myself would hurt my close family members and friends, but if I could do so without causing additional harm, I absolutely would.
Basically, I wouldn't be able to put into words how much shame and guilt I feel over having committed such a crime, especially as up till then I'd been a pretty decent, law-abiding and very studious person.
So, please don't beat yourself up too much for making an inappropriate advance! At the end of the day you made the right decision and it didn't go any further. Though it sounds like you have suffered a great deal yourself, if you can, please feel secure in yourself and glad that you haven't gone down that path.
Keep at the therapy and I reckon you'll be ok!