i tried to have sex with a teen guy

i'm 24 year old guy and was sexually abused as a child. i have had desires to get abused by other men and often i have followed them but the other day i tried to have sex with a teenage guy

i am glad the child pushed me away, but he also insulted me and that makes me feel shame

i dont know what is wrong...i am turning to the guy who abused me and i dont know what to do...had the teenage not stopped me, i would've ruined his life...i feel terrible and dirty, very dirty

Hi

I am sorry to hear you are struggling and of what you went through as a child.

However, what you did is extremely serious if they are under the age of consent and, if they are, I think that you need to ask for some urgent help. Please talk to your Dr or therapist if you have one and inform them of what happened. If they are under the age of consent it sounds like you need urgent input and support both for yourself and also not to put anyone else at risk. I am sorry to be blunt with you but you really do need to ask for help now

Cracked

I understand the urgency of the situation. I'm hoping i wont repeat the act...

Was it a minor?

I really think that something more than hoping you wont repeat the act is in place. Please ask for help. You are much more likely to be treated well by the system if you ask for the help you need rather than not. It is really important. Please speak to your Dr or a therapist.

Cracked

Yeah, please get yourself some help. You don't need to turn into an abuser and you'll feel so thankful after you get yourself into therapy and work this out of your system ... quite apart from hurting anyone, you don't want to have to live with yourself after committing statutory rape or any other kind of abuse, so don't do it and get yourself help I believe you can do it!

thanks...you are right, statutory rape is not something i want to live with...thanks a lot for this...i'll seek a therapist

tiredofmyself wrote:thanks...you are right, statutory rape is not something i want to live with...thanks a lot for this...i'll seek a therapist

Thank you

Cracked

the therapist told me that whenever i feel i'm about to do a similar act, i start naming ten objects around me. that should give me time to realize the consequences of my action

it has helped a lot. i havent looked at bdsm porn off late. whenever the urge came to type it on google, i named the objects around me and then the urge sort of got replaced by guilt and regret

i feel shame for trying to do such an act with the teen. he would be around 17. i am glad he pushed me away. there's no way i can say sorry to him. i feel shame for doing such a thing

So glad you have talked to a therapist about this. Even if he is the most charming and attractive 17-year-old in the world and utterly willing, it absolutely isn't worth it.

I committed statutory rape against a girl who was turning 17 when I was a few years younger than you are now and while she's twice declined to press charges (after I offered) and doesn't consider herself a victim of child molestation, it's still something that eats me up inside every day and I can't imagine ever really forgiving myself for (although, as Epiphany has often pointed out, the idea of forgiving oneself is something of a contradiction in terms). I'm trying to keep going as I know that killing myself would hurt my close family members and friends, but if I could do so without causing additional harm, I absolutely would.

Basically, I wouldn't be able to put into words how much shame and guilt I feel over having committed such a crime, especially as up till then I'd been a pretty decent, law-abiding and very studious person.

So, please don't beat yourself up too much for making an inappropriate advance! At the end of the day you made the right decision and it didn't go any further. Though it sounds like you have suffered a great deal yourself, if you can, please feel secure in yourself and glad that you haven't gone down that path.

Keep at the therapy and I reckon you'll be ok!

tiredofmyself wrote:the therapist told me that whenever i feel i'm about to do a similar act, i start naming ten objects around me. that should give me time to realize the consequences of my action

it has helped a lot. i havent looked at bdsm porn off late. whenever the urge came to type it on google, i named the objects around me and then the urge sort of got replaced by guilt and regret

i feel shame for trying to do such an act with the teen. he would be around 17. i am glad he pushed me away. there's no way i can say sorry to him. i feel shame for doing such a thing

Sounds like good advice from your therapist. I hope it helps you- it sounds like it is. Do you think you could work on the shame you feel with your therapist at all?

Cracked