Incest with my sister

When I was around the age of 10-11 I used to sleep with my sister sometimes who was about 6-7. At one point my privates touched her butt. It was a good feeling and I started to do it on purpose. I think she enjoyed it as well as she would push her butt against my privates. This led on to much worse things. It turned into me pulling her knickers off and rubbing my penis up and down her butt. Then a bit later on I would go into her room or my parents room when they were down stairs and I would try to insert my privates into her butt.

Also at one point I tried to get her to do things with me orally by pushing her head towards my privates but she kept pulled away. Sometimes we would play husband and wife and would do sexual things. These things went on for quite a while but eventually stopped and years later have come to haunt me. I felt guilty and sick and depression was killing me, I told my parents and they were very understanding and told me not to do it again and they said it was just experimentation.

After talking to my parents I felt a lot better but recently the pain has come back again and is killing me. Sometimes I question life. The main reason being that this is not normal and isn't common. If anyone found out about this my life would be over. No friends or family. I want the pain to go away. Someone help me. Btw how can I tell if my penis entered the butt because I would put my penis in between the cheeks. I was young and didn't have a clue what I was doing.

Hi

I think that if ppl were honest about it you would find that sexual experimentation between siblings and young children who are friends is more common than you would think - you are def not alone. It is good that you spoke to your parents about it imo and I think how they handled it was good. Do you know what has brought on the new worry about it? Has something happened to make you worry more about it? It might be worth thinking about what has brought on this new worry. I think if you cant shake it then talking in therapy might be an option that could help but I understand this is daunting and might feel very difficult to do.

Cracked

Yes, it's probably more common than you think. Most who do engage in sexual activity with their sibling probably just let it go or forget about it when they get older and don't mention it again.

But I wouldn't judge things based on how normal or common they are. The main concern with any questionable action is long term harm/damage, which I doubt there is any in this case.

Can I ask roughly how old you are now? I look at my sister as a completely different person to when we were kids. Siblings tend to have completely different relationships when kids vs adults.

There were times when my sister and I did stuff that, if one of us had been an adult, there would have been trouble! But because we were both kids, it just becomes mildly embarrassing at most. We just don't mention those things

Hi, my name is Holly.
My brother was one of the people in my life who abused me (read my blog for my story), and although what you and your sister engaged in was probably innocent, and experimenting,,,,it's bothering you, and you don't have her take on it. You never really know what traumatizes a person. I remember a very traumatizing thing that happened when I was 4. It really affected me. Just because she hasn't brought it up, doesn't mean she isn't suffering like you in silence. My advice would be to get into some counseling, and explore things. Then, because you feel so remorseful (which is really a good thing...it means you have a conscience) you might bring it up to her, and say that you were remembering the sexual things you used to do together, and that it is bothering you that you are so sorry if she has any lasting bad feelings about this. My brother (and again I state, what he did was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than what happened between you and your sister) as an adult, told me that he was on drugs, and high so much of his teen years, and, he knew he did some very awful things to my younger brother and I. He said he was sorry. I can't begin to tell you how that made me feel. I never thought he would ever admit to anything, let alone say he was sorry. The part about being high all of the time, wasn't an excuse...it was true, and I did believe him. That went long way towards my healing. Just putting things out there with your sister and clearing the air, whether or not she thinks anything of it, might help both of you. JMHO
~Holly~

*mod edit*

CrackedGirl wrote:Hi

I think that if ppl were honest about it you would find that sexual experimentation between siblings and young children who are friends is more common than you would think - you are def not alone. It is good that you spoke to your parents about it imo and I think how they handled it was good. Do you know what has brought on the new worry about it? Has something happened to make you worry more about it? It might be worth thinking about what has brought on this new worry. I think if you cant shake it then talking in therapy might be an option that could help but I understand this is daunting and might feel very difficult to do.

Cracked

Hi! This is my new account. I think the reason I'm worrying about it is because of the secret I'm keeping. I feel if I mention it to my other family or friends they would judge me and chances are leave me. I'm also worrying about it because I feel like I'm mental and I hate being different. Loads of people have bad views over incestrious behaviour. Many people find it disgusting and disturbing. Some people think infests should die. Would I be classed as an incest? I'm still really confused? I'm now 16 btw.

Spaceman421 wrote:Hi! This is my new account. I think the reason I'm worrying about it is because of the secret I'm keeping. I feel if I mention it to my other family or friends they would judge me and chances are leave me. I'm also worrying about it because I feel like I'm mental and I hate being different. Loads of people have bad views over incestrious behaviour. Many people find it disgusting and disturbing. Some people think infests should die. Would I be classed as an incest? I'm still really confused? I'm now 16 btw.

Hi

Can you please PM me with details of your old account

in terms of this I honestly think you need to ask for some help from a professional

Cracked

CrackedGirl wrote:

Spaceman421 wrote:Hi! This is my new account. I think the reason I'm worrying about it is because of the secret I'm keeping. I feel if I mention it to my other family or friends they would judge me and chances are leave me. I'm also worrying about it because I feel like I'm mental and I hate being different. Loads of people have bad views over incestrious behaviour. Many people find it disgusting and disturbing. Some people think infests should die. Would I be classed as an incest? I'm still really confused? I'm now 16 btw.

Hi

Can you please PM me with details of your old account

in terms of this I honestly think you need to ask for some help from a professional

Cracked

Okay. Thank you for your help and support. I hope therapy works and I can be happy again. If not I don't know what I'll do.