crippling guilt from realising I raped someone (TW)

Apologies if I upset you... though I don't really understand why you feel what I quoted was ###$ up, when I was paraphrasing Ada above, who you thanked for her comment:

I think taking responsibility is important. You say that you don't like using "I" when writing about this. Being born again is irrelevant though. You did do this. I'm not saying you should be miserable with guilt for the rest of your life. But it IS a part of your history. It wasn't someone else who did it. It wasn't a dream. It should be acknowledged as such.

They should shut the ###$ up because they're probably hypercrits who have done something worse!!!

???

I'm confused by who this is in relation to. If in relation to me, I absolutely accept that I am guilty of worse behaviour than you, since I messed around with a 16-year-old kid when I was 21, which was deeply inappropriate. You were just a kid when you did what you did. However, I am also the same human being who committed this abusive behaviour, however sad that makes me feel. It is a part of me... though I have also changed a great deal in the 7 or so years since then.

As clearly have you! And you were literally a child yourself. But it was still, in a sense, 'you'. But I don't think you should feel horrible or miserable about it now. Not at all.

It does matter if u r a born-again!!! Thanks, God bless!!!

Being born again matters to your soul, yes! And the whole of your life. However, I don't think it changes your responsibility for the past. My objection was purely to the sense of "it seems like it wasn't me who did it." I may have misunderstood your post in this respect. But I think acknowledging HOW MUCH you've been forgiven by God for. Is important. Rather than downplaying those actions. As "happening to a different person."

I very much agree that your redemption through God is clearly very important to your spiritual self. I also absolutely do not feel that you should be burdened by behaviour performed in your childhood. But I think it's best to also accept that what happened did happen, wasn't a dream and is something you did as a child. But that you are also a different person now and have been redeemed. So let go of guilt, but remember the lessons that you learned!

She's jailbait. Like sounds pretty cold but what the hell was she doing meeting you and getting hammered if she had a boyfriend. . . ?
Call me cold but it sounds to me she's using the term 'rape' a little loosely. To suit her. She sounds like she has some issues, well reading your post, she clearly does. She was probably $#%^ faced, agreed to sleep with you. If someone is having sex 'back' with you and enjoying it, it's hardly rape unless she was like younger than 16. It probably just backfired on her because she's got a partner. It's not like you roofied her or anything.
If she was like comatose or something then it's a little rapey but as long as you don't have any unhealthy sexual urges towards 'society' and you know it's wrong, whats the problem? It sounds like it was just an accident. Hell either hand yourself in because you cant cope with your conscience or just accept it for what it was a 'messy' situation and crack on . . .

I've spoken with the OP months back and it's been resolved and the woman involved no longer feels it was rape. Seems like it was a learning lessons for him and that's he'll be extra safe around boundaries and drinking in the future, but in the end no harm was caused it seems. Just an update.

Hey everyone! I'm new in this forum and english is not my mother tongue, so I hope you'll excuse my mistakes and please feel free to ask if there are any misunderstandings.
i#ve seen that the original post was made a year ago, but I think the discussion that developed from there is really great and exactly what society needs to develop and to move forward thus is highly important
Thank you to everyone, who acknowledges want they did! You may feel terrible and full of guilt, but believe me, when i tell you that it really makes a difference, when you fully understand what you did and see it for what it is. Because you are not alone when it comes to committing sexual assault and rape. It's a problem of society and there are a lot of men and also women, who don' t acknowledge, what they did. And i feel like one reason why this is, is because society/people don't want to admit that this very well exists. It is a big part of the world but still there is such a stigma attached to the whole subject so that people who have been raped or people, who raped or maybe have the intention to rape aren't able to talk about it. People think 'bad people' rape and that's why we don't need to talk about it because there aren't bad people in their community and if YOU 'nice kid' did something and the person you've been with didn't say no than it isn't rape. but that's just not the case. there are a lot of grey areas and questionable situations and if they aren't addressed and just ignored it doesn't help anyone. I totally agree with everything you said spock and the fact, that people's strange attitude towards this subject is especially evident when it comes to rape or assault in tv shows, where people dismiss those incidents where the victim repeatedly says no or is clearly uncomfortable as "passionate". for some reason there is the tendency in some people ( maybe more than we might think because people aren't able to talk about it) to push other peoples' personal boundaries and it is better to understand that than to look away. this way young people and also old can be educated on this subject matter : what consent actually means and how their actions will effect people. because i feel like a lot of people don't even realize how severe it is what they' re doing or just don't want to realize it.

So even if the guilt is very hard to bear. maybe it a good thing that you feel it ( i don't mean that in a cruel way) because others just don't want to feel that pain and so they just don't face it and as a result their behavior doesn't change. in order to live with it they label their behavior "okay" and so they repeat it again and again. But you guys don't do that and that takes great courage and strength. so from a survivor of sexual assault: it makes a big difference and thank you very much + stay on your great path and work on it PS: let your guilt function as a motivator (for the future so that you'll always stay conscious of your mistake and work on it and pass your views to a of other people and this way you might end up as a great help and blessing for a lot of people) and not as something that destroys you or shuts you down.

I really like this message and it brought tears to me eyes.

It means a lot such a message coming from a survivor. Like, so much I can't even describe. Your compassion is humbling and I am deeply thankful.

Thank you.

I would like to thoroughly apologize for my rude behavior, I was in a bad place and was frustrated. I'm very sorry! I'm please to announce that I am, in fact, NOT ruined by guilt. Guilt can never ruin u if u fight back. No one should be ruined by guilt, it's just unfair. We r all human beings who make mistakes, for example, me getting frustrated. But I'm doing better now and I hope u all r too! Thank u for helping me so much and listening to me! God bless!