What should i do?

I'm a monster for this. I'm a teenage male and when i was around 13-14, i almost sexually molested another male child. I'm not gay nor am I a pedophile, I was just curious. Basically what happened is that I asked him to sit on my lap. We started jumping up and down, and I got hard. He turned around and looked, i think he noticed. I wasn't in my right mind-I asked him if we could lay on the couch together, and we did, we started hopping again. Then, i asked if i could hop on top of him. Then my sisters came in and I quickly got off of him. After a few months I looked back at it and realized what i did was molestation. I felt horrible for what i did. The end of the school year was coming and i couldn't even feel happy. I'm a monster and I know it. The child moved away, and I don't know where he is or how he is doing. I felt terrible for a year and i still feel terrible now. I feel like absolute trash. You can call me anything you'd like, you're probably disgusted with me. I've changed since then though. I know for a fact that i would never, EVER do a thing like that EVER again. But It's not really about me, it's about that child. I wanted to try to find him, I wanted to see if he's doing okay. I heard that people that are molested become molesters. I don't want to let that happen. I don't want him going through the thing i'm going through right now. But at the same time I don't want to go to jail. I know i have to take full responsibility for what happened. I wasn't in my right mind. My sister has their phone number and I might be able to contact them. Should i call them and tell them i'm sorry for what happened If the child still remembers? Or should I just keep quiet and somehow move on?

hi

I honestly dont think you are a monster for this and I really think that you need to cut yourself some slack here. Whilst yes it was not the best thing to do I honestly think this was some experimentation and not you being an abuser. You are young and you do not sound like you were trying to use power over this person at all. It sounds like this has really taken over your thoughts and I would urge you to try to challenge them and not let them run away with you. I do not think you have done wrong here. Please cut yourself some slack and try not to worry about this making you an abuser. I dont think it does.

Take good care

Cracked

Agreed. It doesn't sound necessarily abusive to me. Not ideal, but quite likely not something that's traumatized the kid. Personally, I'm erring on the side of not bringing it up. It may actually cause more worry where there isn't any already. You're not going to do this again now you're older. I think chalk it up to experience and move on. You were a kid yourself and kids do some weird things.