Is this illegal?If so im prepared to go to jail.

I have a question brought up in my head due to the post above this one.I am a teen and im fully prepared to go to jail for what i did recently.Im so ashamed.Now to remind you i knew what i was doing was wrong.From things i did when i was age 12-14.Im still a teen.

So i was laying in bed with my younger male cousin.Who i think is 9 or 10.

So i pretend im sleeping and im pretty sure he was really sleeping at first.

The way we were sleeping was his head was on one end of the bed and my head on the other side.I put my foot out near his face.I wanted him to feel it up.I dont know why but it turned me on at the thought.Its weird.he didnt feel my foot up at first.So i stretched my foot right on his face and hands.It was a "im sleeping and dont know what im doing stretch".So it seemed like i was asleep.I fell asleep and woke up and he had his hands on my foot.I was realy hard from this.I dont know exactly why but i started moving my knee around looking for his crotch area.Remember its completely dark and its nighttime.As im moving my knee around my knee taps something and i think its his croth area so i move my knee quickly.In fear that that was molestation.

Im VERY VERYahsamed and im never sleeping in a room with him again.You can report me if it was illegal.Is it illegal?I will let the cops arrest me if it is.

Im prepared to die for being involved in a similar act i promised my self id never be involved with again.Im a bad person i know.

So can i go to jail for this?Remember you can report me to police.I want to be in jail anyways.

-- Sun May 25, 2014 1:25 pm --

Not worried about this now anymore.

What i want to know is if i can go to jail for this thing i did when i was 12-14.

when i was ages 12 to 14 i touched mysister while she was sleeping and masturbated while doing so(i think i did this ten times or more).I feel so terrible about it and ive confessed to my mom because i did to my mom 3 times.She forgave me.

Not only that but I also let my youngest sister put her tounge on my peanus when she was very young.I dont even know if she was a year old yet but i think she was.I pushed it up against her butcheek too.

Im turning myself in if going to jail for this is possible.Ive already talked to the very kind CrackedGirl
about this.

-- Sun May 25, 2014 1:29 pm --

One more thing yes i am very regretful for these things.These things ive done could have ruined a life or 2.Its hard to live with these things but i do.I just hope and pray my sister isnt somehow affected by these things.I hope she lives a happy life.

Also im wondering how to move on from this(assuming i dont turn myself in)Im finding it very hard to live with what ive done.

Hi coolghost.

This sounds to me like a curious guy going through puberty who let his impulses get the better of him. These impulses came out in some very regrettable ways.

But you won't go to jail for this, IF like you said you were 12-14 years old (therefore a minor yourself).

Your youngest sister, like most of us, won't remember anything before the age of 3, definitely not before 2, so I wouldn't worry about her being affected. This was pretty serious, but I'm trying to look at this objectively. I don't want to trivialise it, but given your description of what happened there would have been no harm done and long term harm is our primary concern here. I don't see how this could have ruined her life.

What I'd also be concerned about is whether any of these impulses will resurface. 12-14, although still technically a child, is quite old to be "experimenting" like that. Are there any signs of this happening in adulthood? If not, then just let the past go and file it under "stupid things I did as a kid".

Don't worry!! Actions can be far more serious than their consequences, if you get me. If any of this is still bothering you, talk to a therapist (you were a child when these things happened so don't worry about police getting involved).

No i will never ever do this again.I feel light impulses on doing it to my stepmother though but i have only felt this maybey once or twice.But i stay away from her in my own area.I have a large amount of self control im not worried about this happening again.



What about my sister who was 6-8 years old when i did these things?

Shes happy now but i dont want her to be ruined by this in the future.She might have been awake one time during this.And thats why i feel so bad she could be ruined.If she was awake during one of these i have already agreed with my self that i would let her kill me or harm me if it would make her feel better,or ill do therapy with her.I do care for her well being.

Also i dont know if id say this sexual expermentation.I think one thing that played a part in this,and when i say this im not justifying what i did,when i was very young either my mom or my aunt pulled my pants down,laid me on a bed,and put my peanis in her vagina.Another time my mom pulled out her breasts and had me kiss one of them.I dont know if this is a proper explanation but i dont think sexual expirimentation is.

WARNING GRAPHIC DETAIL BELOW:WARNING GRAPHIC DETAIL BELOW:(be warned this graphic detail scared off one of the mods i was talking too.I wouldnt suggest reading it if you were abused sexually.









I grabbed her butt i played with her feet.I even put my mouth on her open mouth(and stuck my tounge in her mouth while masturbating.I rubbed my hand on her crotch area(she was fully clothed and sleeping though)meaning it was over her jean shorts.

Once i even pulled her pants down and underwear and touched her anus hole(i remember pushing it in a little a very tiny bit though not all the way in.)


This haunts me the most.Even though i was young i feel as if i should go to jail for this(if possible)

Its like i feel like i would feel better if someone would just beat my ass.You know punch me kick me.
I feel like i dont deserve happines for what i did.Everytime i have a good time i remember what happened and get depressed because i know a good time is not what i deserve.


Man im pretty crazy with these obsessive thoughts.I wish they would go away.

coolghost, you've provided some important new information which suggests you were abused as a child by your aunt or mother. This would go some way to explaining your impulses.

While it's correct you should take responsibility for your actions, and it is commendable that you feel so remorseful, you must realise that, if you were abused, it is not your fault you had these overwhelming impulses. I can understand you don't want to appear as though you're justifying what you did, but it does explain a lot.

I am now concerned that, if you were abused by an adult family member, there is a chance your siblings could also have been. However, it is your primary responsibility to deal with your own issues and those who may have been affected by your actions.

I would seek therapy ASAP. Start by yourself, but be open to the idea of your sister joining you in the sessions, because she may eventually want to talk about this and you don't want her to feel alone. Your therapist will advise you over the best course of action.

I know it doesn't seem it right now, but things will get better quicker than you think. You'll likely always have memories of these events (both being abused and abusing), but you'll learn to compartmentalize them better over time and dis-identify with them (because they are not who you are). Make the promise right now that, whatever happened will always have a stake in every good deed you do. We all must accept the good and the bad as part of our personal growth. Do not try to shut out these remorseful thoughts. Give them the space to just be and you'll find that, if given your full acceptance, they can fuel some very positive things.

You can still do more good than bad in life, in other words. It is often said the Hiroshima bombing saved more lives than it lost. This is actually a powerful analogy for our bad deeds leading to immeasurable good throughout our lifetimes. You just don't know it yet, because the butterfly effect has only just begun.

If you want peace, learn to not live in the mind. There are many practices that can help you with that. PM me if you want more info.

Thinks for the reply.I really appreciate it.