I feel like I've endangered my family + I've hurt a library

While I still lived with my parents, I would, on a handful of occasions, download from the Internet erotic stories featuring furry, pedophilia and incest. I'd read them once, then delete them. Now I'm worried that, due to my lack of mindfulness and control regardinging my obsessive mental issues, I have potentially caused them to get in legal trouble as a result (as well as gain a tarnished reputation).

However, there is some small comfort for me; this has all happened over a year ago, and if the authorities had truly been aware, wouldn't they have arrived immediately the day after I'd downloaded the stories? Still, I fear that I didn't delete them well enough (though I think I deleted them from the Recycle Bin) and that they're still on the hard disk, waiting to be discovered so that my sickness can put my innocent family in jeopardy.

Also, I'd also done the same at a library computer; the day after, the computer was locked and the library had to pay a fine of 100e. I wasn't caught, but I still feel like I've done a horrible wrong to them (which I have) and that I can't meet the eyes of those who work there.

Three things.

You are probably free and clear if you are concerned with being caught.

But, the authorities work incredibly slowly and honestly this crime is pretty low on their priorities.

And finally, you should take a lesson from this and keep out of trouble going forward.

Last time I checked erotic stories weren't illegal, no matter what they're about.

Thank you for the replies! I have indeed learned from these mistakes that happened over a year ago, and now I know not to make mistakes like that. However, while I did worry about getting caught myself, it's also my family's risk status that concerned me. While these fears will probably someday get into the forefront of my mind again, for now, they are alleviated. I may not be able to make restitution to the library, though, which pains me because I used to love the place so much.

Also, epiphany, the Finnish law /does/ only criminalize "reality-based or realistic" visual erotic material featuring children and bestiality, so erotic stories /should/ be legal by that definition. However, the library still got into trouble, so I don't know what to tell you

It's not your fault the library got into trouble. I don't even know why they would get into trouble over something that isn't illegal. It boggles the mind.

It's also not their fault that someone chose to look at those sites

All in all, there's little fault here, just an unfortunate situation.

Eppy, I must confess your replyleaves me feeling conflicted. You say it's not my fault, but you also say it's not the library's fault I /made a choice/. While, yes, if I didn't have my mental problems I wouldn't have done it, but I don't want to shirk all responsibility on them; to do so would prevent me from owing up to my mistake. There were extenuating factors, but it wasn't some mean ugly mental illness troll who downloaded that stuff on a library computer. Does this make any sense?

I understand the quandary here, but of course you can still take responsibility for your actions.

However, you didn't have any control over the response to such actions. I don't understand why the library was fined. That seems like an unnecessarily harsh policy. It wasn't the library's fault that this happened and equally I'm sure you did not intend to put the library in that situation.

Can you not make an anonymous donation to the library? If the only damage here is financial, then it should be pretty straight forward to make amends. You don't need to own up personally, just make the amends in any way you can and repair the damage.

The problem with that is A: I have no idea how to donate to the library and B: I only get 200e a month to survive on. I suppose I could make donations of,, say, 10e until the debt is repaid?

That sounds like a nice idea. Or pay back when you do have the money.

This is certainly harm that can be undone. Don't panic.