Girl I've Seen for 8 months...Said "Stop" in Middle of Sex?!

This is my first post...

8 months ago, I met a woman on a site for Mental Illness, we both have anxiety and depression... from the beginning she only wanted "Friends with Benefits" when I immediately fell for her and wanted more... from the beginning, she would kinda "play games" like tell me to "go away and leave her alone" after the slightest argument... she would then disappear for over a month sometimes, then pop up texting me out of the blue, suspicious I was with other women... she said after I sleep with someone else, we can no longer see each other... I was already in love with her, but I had to settle for FWB because that is what she insisted....

Anyway I have slept with her about 20 or 30 times in 8 months.... she is 44 and has 2 sons, I am 36, I saw her like every 2 weeks on average...

Anyway about 4 days ago she told her her son threatened suicide and was put in a hospital... actually she and I have both been hospitalized briefly once before, so already this is not a normal stable relationship... She basically said she wanted to see me after knowing about her son... I had no intention of sleeping with her after hearing about her son... I just wanted to offer support and advice because I know she was a mess with her son etc.... she didn't want my help and got angry when I gave her advice about therapists or medication... we didn't have sex that day...she left that day to see her son in the hospital... she then came back the next day... again I had no intention of sleeping with her based on her son who I was also worried about....but she insisted she "wanted to have sex" I felt a little funny based on how her son was doing, but I tried anyway...

Basically I went down on her... everything was great, afterwards, she was exhausted and I said do you want to have sex, so she said how? So I said just turn over and she did... After about 5 minutes, she said in a quiet voice, "Stop" but I honestly thought she meant I wasn't in her right or she was uncomfortable, so I stopped for 5 seconds and started again...for another 3 minutes or so until it ended.... she didn't object or say anything else....AFTERWARDS, the thing is, she then asked if I wanted to have sex again...

I just found it very odd.... she had never said "stop" before and it took me literally a day or two to realize that I guess I should have stopped... although again, she did offer to have sex again afterwards... Also, the way she said "stop" was very "quiet" and "automatic" in a way, which I found odd, and she made no real effort to move away from me, so I honestly assumed some position was hurting her...

All I know is, she is so unpredictable anyway, I don't know what to think with her, she lately has been saying things like, "you just want me for sex" and "I am only staying with you because you are attractive" she even once said, "what is the difference between me sleeping with you and a total stranger?"

That being said, she did say "stop"... all I know is I think from now on I cannot see her again, I don't trust her anyway and she has cut me off like 5 or 6 times and then popped up again... bizarre and the whole thing is stressful....

At this point, I really don't know if i did anything wrong, if she is trying to set me up, if I am building this up in my head, or did she simply want me to stop for a second and start again, meaning she has no problem with me and I did nothing wrong...? I am just terrified that she will call the cops, I don't know why, and if she does, I think I will probably end it, as I cannot go to jail, I have a sick cat with diabetes who I would have to put to sleep...

I am afraid to text her, we haven't talked or texted in 2 and a half days... I don't know what she is thinking... Almost positive I will cut off all contact with her after this, and she was not trustworthy/reliable anyway...

The ironic thing is, if I indeed was wrong and she presses charges, the bottom line is, the last two times she visited me, I had NO INTENTION of even TRYING to sleep with her, based on her son's condition, SHE asked me!!! I also am madly in love with her but I know that after this last time, I am so freaked out I don't think I can see her ever again...which would mean I would end up completely alone again.... Does anyone have advice? I am sorry for the very long post, Thank you!

Hi and welcome

I think it sounds like she certainly has some issues going on from what you have said and it is also difficult to know what she meant here as her signals are so mixed. I know it is scary but I do think it would be good for you to know what she meant and also to explain to her that the signals she is giving you are mixed ones. This may well not be her fault as she may have trauma or similar in the past which has affected how she views and treats relationships but it is important that you know. If you can I think it would be good to try to talk to her about all of this- I know this would not be easy but I think it would be a good idea. What do you think?

Cracked

Hi, cracked, thanks... I was a wreck last night and only slept 2 hours...

She texted me last night after not hearing from her for 2 or 3 days... She seemed fine and was joking around, I guess I will see her next week I already got tickets to an IMAX movie a week ago...

I still kinda doubt I will bring it up to her even though it does kinda makes sense, she seemed fine even afterwards and did say she wanted to go again... I just don't want to create awkwardness, that could freak her out too. I guess I learned my lesson, if she says stop, regardless of when or why I just have to...

I never quite realized how difficult it is after a few minutes, like after a minute, it seems like it would be much easier to stop as a guy... For chicks, this is kinda hard to explain... Not saying it's right, but it feels almost like nature somehow doesn't want the guy to stop, that is the frame of mind you are in after a while, not at first but after a few minutes. I've never been in the situation before, so I'm just speaking from experience.

All I know is if it happens again, I'll basically stop and probably never talk to her again, why even ask questions, or maybe I will ask...this is not even a relationship it is a friends with benefits which is what she wanted, not me.

It sounds like you have a good plan in place - I hope things go well for you

Cracked