am i evil?

hello im a 17 year old male i feel massive guilt over something i did when i was 12 to 13. the thing is when i was that age my sister of 11-12 would have sleepovers and i would sneak in and try to feel up her friends i was very curious at that age. i know its not an excuse and i hate myself for it. i now understand that what i did was very wrong and i would never do it again. i feel like a rapist/molestor the massive guilt is killing me i dont know what to do anymore am i an evil person?

p.s sorry if i posted in wrong forum

ineedhelp123 wrote:hello im a 17 year old male i feel massive guilt over something i did when i was 12 to 13. the thing is when i was that age my sister of 11-12 would have sleepovers and i would sneak in and try to feel up her friends i was very curious at that age. i know its not an excuse and i hate myself for it. i now understand that what i did was very wrong and i would never do it again. i feel like a rapist/molestor the massive guilt is killing me i dont know what to do anymore am i an evil person?

p.s sorry if i posted in wrong forum

One thing that I think it that it is brave for you to admit this. It does not sound like it was a good idea but I do have some thoughts. Firstly you were not of a much different age to these friends so I do not believe you were acting as a child abuser to younger children here. How did they react to your behaviour is the other thing I would ask here?

You have not posted in the wrong forum

Cracked

they seem unaffected by it. either they dont remember it or the simply dont care. im the only one that it seems to bother. i need to move on but i cant

Cut yourself a break, you were a kid.

When I was 6 I tried to strangle a girl. Attempted murder by adult standards. You have to let go of your childhood transgressions. You're not the same person you were then, mentally or physically. Ask yourself if you'd do the same thing now. If the answer is "hell no!" then it's time to acknowledge who you are right now. That's all that matters, not some dark memory of a past self who knew not what he did.

ineedhelp123 wrote:they seem unaffected by it. either they dont remember it or the simply dont care. im the only one that it seems to bother. i need to move on but i cant

Sounds like you are really giving yourself a hard time with all of this. Can you think of anything that would make you feel better or help with this. learning how to forgive ourselves is so so difficult but it is a really important skill to learn. There are books on this- perhaps getting something like that to read might help?

Cracked

epiphany55 wrote:Cut yourself a break, you were a kid.