Oh and By The Way...

I hope this is fine. Every now and then I'm gonna drop by this thread and "come clean" about significant lies I've told. Ones that I wish I hadn't told. Ones that I don't understand why I told in the first place. I'm a compulsive liar, so this list will never stop growing I'm afraid...

Everyone in my life: For some reason or another, you are important to me. Oh, and by the way...

- I've never really had an abortion. Never even been pregnant.
- I've slept with a lot less people than you think I have.
- My father and I aren't avoiding each other because of an argument about a guy I was dating. It was over an argument over whether or not Scarlett Johansonn should have played Black Widow, ok?
- I do not have two married polyamorous lovers in Virginia.
- All the stuff I said my gynecologist told me is bullsh!t. I haven't seen a gynecologist since I was in Junior High School.
- All those times you explained scientific theories to me and I said I got it? I didn't get it.
- I don't get tested for STDs regularly.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:16 pm --

- I wasn't joking when I said your 13-year-old sister is hot.
- I never actually planned on trying to seduce your ex.
- I don't really know German.
- I'm not over you.
- I don't love you.
- I actually was mad at you all those times you didn't return my calls.
- I wasn't worried about you going to the bank at 5 in the morning because I thought you'd be unsafe. I just figured you knew it was unsafe, knew that I knew, and that if I didn't express concern for your safety, you'd realize that yes, I am perfectly fine with you risking getting murdered by crackheads if it means you might bring me some money.
- I never babysit my nephews. I just don't wanna spend time with you.
- I'm not willing to try anal sex with you. I just don't want you to think I'm a prude. You don't know how much coke, molly and liquor I would need to try that sh!t.
- I've never done heroin.
- I've never attempted suicide.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:26 pm --

- I stole those $100 boots. They weren't a gift from my boyfriend. I had no boyfriend at that time (the guy who I said was my boyfriend broke up with me years prior to that day) and I took myself to the movies that day.
- I never plan on having sex with you.
- I'm not going to the library every morning. I'm smoking weed and watching TV.
- I am not incapable of feeling embarrassment or shame. Quite frankly, I don't believe you are, either. I think you say you are to impress me (or prevent me from looking for ways to shame/embarrass you, or use those emotions to my advantage) because your dumb gullible ass actually believes that I don't feel those things.
- The real reason I wanna "rape" is you because you strike me as vulnerable and a little messed up in the head. But not actually rape you. Just wild, disgusting sex that ends in a fatal love story and murder-suicide is all.
- The Asian girl I was fooling around with was not my girlfriend. She said she was, once, but forgot my name every single day.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:31 pm --

- I did suck my teeth at the cat.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:35 pm --

- I didn't really know you were joking. I thought you had really found out that I stole weed from you.

-- Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:53 pm --

- I did not live with you out of pity. Honestly, that was the one "real home" I ever had, and I used you.

- I didn't sell your laptop because I stopped caring about you. I did it because I was desperate for weed and chose - after days of careful contemplation - that your friendship was worth sacrificing for drug money. So I didn't care for you much, clearly. But I didn't do it out of apathy; I was desperate. For weed. And made a sacrifice.

- I don't really consider you my friend. I just think after all this time and everything we've done, you'd expect me to at least call you a friend.

Hope getting this stuff out helps

Cracked

Thank you, CrackedGirl. It's helping more than I expected.

- I actually do wanna get married. Have a wedding in a church and everything. I just don't want you or anyone else thinking I'm "girly".

- I wasn't really worried about you going into the train tracks. I just thought it would turn you on to have a protective girlfriend. When it obviously turned you off, I got angry. Continuing to act protective was a way to make my anger look righteous.

- I'm not gonna try not to smoke today. In fact, it's basically all I plan to do today.

- I wouldn't rather die than be like you. Actually, I'd kill to be more like you, and I'm afraid we already have a lot in common.

Havoctoria wrote:Thank you, CrackedGirl. It's helping more than I expected.

I am glad

Cracked

- I am not heterosexual. Never was.

- You were never my "best friend".

- I actually don't know who my first boyfriend was.

- I didn't run away from home because I "just got tired of being there". I just got tired of getting hit.

All those times you explained scientific theories to me and I said I got it? I didn't get it.

That made me smile since my reaction was 'ha. yes. me too.' The amount of times I've done this to my dad must be stratospheric.

Also, while you recognise that you are a compulsive liar, it sounds like you have also had some justified reasons for lying, such as about leaving home.

Right? If I tell people that, omg, they would be like, "What?"

- My roommate is not really a female. I don't even know why I said that.

- I didn't get home 20 minutes ago.

- I gave someone the wrong phone number on purpose, originally with the intent to give them the right one. (LOL, though)

- I've never seen whatever f*cking movie that was you said.

- Sarah Brightman is not my favorite singer.

- I didn't miss you.

- It doesn't "hurt more" when you say it. I just want you to shut the hell up about it like everyone else seems to do.

- I'm not laughing at a picture of a kitten.

- I didn't lose 300 songs on my mp3 player.

- My legs do get cold.

- I don't hope you have a good time.

- I'm not impressed with your cooking. I seriously only said that because I wanted to move my mouth so you don't see my hungry-face.

- I am NOT more relaxed than I was earlier! In fact, I am very, very uncomfortable right now.

- I don't "like" black guys, per se...

-- Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:10 pm --

Oh wait. I thought you meant the one about me avoiding my Dad. Either way, though, people would laugh if they knew.

My Dad hit me because I raised my voice at him.
I "raised my voice" at him (actually I yelled) over a disagreement about movie casting.
I left, over being hit, because I overreacted, about a movie/celebrity/comic book character. ._.

So the story I made up is that: [Lie] My father & I got into an argument about a man I was dating, whom he disapproved of. He kept interrupting me as I was speaking so I raised my voice higher to be heard. [This is the part where I exploited my own abusive past, like an asshole]: As a child, my father hit me a lot, & when I raised my voice was some of those times. [Truth & Ending]: He hit me. I left.

That was the first & last time I left home for good. I've "run away" (not come home, without permission, & made no communication with my father for days at a time) as a kid for the same reason: He went f*cking Chris Brown on me over little things.

It was nice to see your list. It's good to see you be honest and open. I think it's very healthy to release some of this. I'm glad you feel able to do so here

Thanks, Lifelongthing.

I almost forgot about this thread. I've lied a bunch of times since the last time I posted. I don't even know where to start...

- I'm not getting ready for bed. I just don't wanna talk to you because you asked what I'm doing, & I find that intrusive.

- I'm not on my way to your house.

- I'm not on my period. Quite frankly, I shouldn't have even had to tell this lie. The CORRECT response to, "I don't wanna have sex" is "Okay", not "Why?" Piece of sh*t.

- The Shining is not my favorite movie.

- I'm not saving these for later; I'm eating them as soon as you leave.

- I almost never use condoms with my sex partners. Not even my clients. I just don't want anyone repeating to me what I already know about STDs/STIs & pregnancy under the false expectation that it's going to change my ways.

- I'm not in a hurry. I'm just not interested in what you have to say.

- I don't forgive you.

- I'm not always hurting when I say I am. Sometimes I just say that to manipulate you.

-- Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:18 pm --

- I didn't dump you to go out with another girl. She would've been fine with us staying together. I was just never, ever into you. Ever.

- Knowing that you planned on dumping me anyway had nothing to do with my choice, either. I didn't care about that because I WAS NEVER INTO YOU.

- I didn't put the money on my metrocard. I spent it on snacks.

- I don't love everything about you.

- I am racist. Just against EVERY race.

- I didn't drop out of High School only because my girlfriend moved.

- I don't still think about you all the time. I just suddenly missed you out of nowhere.

I'm not getting ready for bed. I just don't wanna talk to you because you asked what I'm doing, & I find that intrusive.

Not to take your thread off-topic, but I just wanted to say that this is one thing I actually have a hard time with. I am very uncomfortable with lying but I struggle with answering the question of what I'm doing all the same. I find it to be a very intrusive question. I'm not entirely sure why.

I'm glad to see you posting again