Should I feel guilty on this one?

One issue I ran into has two parts. I think the first part isn't really questionable, while the second might be.

(1) I googled a friends name, and then their email. I've probably done this to 50% of the people I'm friends with.

(2) I asked a mutual friend that was in the know about some of the things I saw and we talked about it a bit.

(1) Just doesn't irk me at all. I don't feel any guilt for curiously looking at public information people have put out there among my friends. It's usually not that interesting. Even this time it was not that interesting, but the person involved is insecure about something... some of the time. Everything I post on the internet I'm willing to deal with. But I'm also a fairly... nominal... person. My weirdest bits would be things I've posted on this forum, and all those positions are relatively tenable.

(2) I could see being more of an issue, some claims of talking behind peoples backs, etc. I'll take some guilt and remorse there. But at the time I thought it was more innocuous, and if it was so readily available and public, I worked under the assumption the person was comfortable with that.

Ashlar,


Nowadays, with how crazy people can be, I don't blame you for looking them up on google. I've heard of many people saving themselves from bad people this way. It's in human nature to be curious, and self-preservationist, so don't think of googling people a bad thing. The only thing I would warn is you should probably only do this with people you have never met before or you're going to do a deal with on a craigslist or something.

Second, is if you have legitimate concerns of someone's actions and how they could effect you, there's no shame in confronting them about it. For instance, if I found out someone I knew was involved in a serious crime and didn't tell me, I would seriously question who they really are. The social circles you associate yourself with really shape who you are, so this to always be watched.

I think it's okay to google someone. I think it can be a natural curiosity in play here. If something is public domain, I don't see why finding it would be too upsetting. If you found yourself obsessively searching or crossing boundaries to get information I would see it differently though.

Do you feel you trust your friends and do this to satisfy a curiosity, or do you struggle trusting them? Do you find yourself to be very distrusting?

Unless this is something that negatively impacts your life, I don't think it's an inherently bad thing, personally

I wouldn't. But how other people should behave isn't for me to say or advise. But like you, I'm a "if it's public, it's ok to browse."

Well in this case it was a friend that the one time I played a game with him, he focused disproportionately on descriptions of grievous and unrealistic weapons and violence. This is a red flag I've seen before in running games, and that got me to dig a little. It was the sixth result on google that proved my interest. I ended up being right, though I guess that's beside the point.

Wouldn't jump to conclusions. Just because there are some sick puppies out there doesn't mean they're dangerous. If we read the BBS scribblings of horror writers for instance I'm sure we'd panic. Maybe it's a thing, maybe it's just how he expresses his frustrations and such. Can think real dark myself but in action and deed I'm a puppydog

Over the course of months, all of my suspicions ended up being justified and proved out. Not just with this guy, but one other as well. I've been running around in the same sorts of circles these people all had been, just five to ten years longer. Most of the time, someone that concerns me is just a minor problem. In both the cases I'm mentioning in this post, they ended up being dangerous.