I abused my sister and regret it

Hello first of all im new here .
Im a guy 18 years old

Okay, I’m desperate. I did something terrible: when I was around 12, I abused my 6-7 years younger sister, and I regret what I did. I feel so dirty and fully ashamed of myself. I think it was the hormones and curiosity of puberty (I never felt attracted to my sister), but I feel like nothing can ever justify what I did. I was turned on and decided to get my sister involved in my things.we just rubbed our genitals against each other most of the time with clothes. I never realized what I was doing was going to be so bad. I knew it wasn’t right it happend frequently i think i don't remember but it wasn't any longer than 1 month. Then i damn knew it was sooo wrong in the wrongest way. i said im so sorry we will never ever do this again and tell anyone, now im 18 and she's 13 she didn talk about it from then she seems normal but i still feel guilty, and fully ashamed. sometimes when i sleep i can't stop thinking of that shame. I asked her 1 time if she rememberd it and she says not so much just forget it she said and don't talk about it.

I also want to know if anyone else experienced something like this.

Well I cannot speak as a person who has done the abuse. I can speak as a survivor. First of all thank you for recognizing what you did was wrong. There are many people out there who never do. Remember Ariel Castro in the courtroom claiming his victims were not abused?

That being said, I really think you need to seek therapy. You are living with a huge weight on your shoulders an you shouldn't have to bear that burden alone. Also ask yourself if this was just a one time thing or are you still attracted to people that age?

I am not sure what to be done with your sister. She could react very badly if you were to tell your story to the rest of the family or want to have a sit down with her about it. Understand that when you both get older there may come a time when she has children and she may not want their uncle around them. You cannot be offended if this does happen. You have to understand where she is coming from. Not saying you would do it again or hurt her possible future children I am just saying it is a possibility.

Forget it. Really forget it. She's normal and not bothered.

Sometimes in families where love & attention is lacking things like this happen, more as comfort, a need to be close to someone, a attempt to find affection more than as a deliberated attempt to abuse.

I don't know if that's how it is for you, but whatever, stop beating yourself up, it won't do any good for you or her.

I really wouldn't worry about her not wanting you near her kids, that sounds a little bit extreme. If she perceived you as a pedophile (which you clearly aren't) she would be already showing signs (ie. getting uncomfortable when you're around).

You talked to her and she didn't seem have any bad feelings towards what happened so my advice is to put this in your past and move on.

ty everyone, This is the first time i told it to anyone, i feel so relieved .
And even if my sister wouldn want me near her children id be 100% ok with it. I think that won't happen because if have mine first she would want to see them.

Because i would understand it. Its just that i needed to tell this to someone, and no i don't feel attracted to younger children it was a 1 time big fault and i have never even thinked about it doing it.

There is hope.

My brother abused me when I was small and I have forgiven him. He had been abused by a Boy Scout leader and then abused me.

But yea, I'd get therapy/mental health help and I'd apologize and all of that and I'd not repeat it again.