Sexual acts with little brother....

Frael wrote:Hi,

Having worked in social services, I would agree that this is much more common than people realise. Obviously it's not a subject which people often discuss

I think that in coming here and speaking openly about what happened, you have actually been really brave. The worst thing that you can do is to try to repress your thoughts and feelings as they will start to become corrosive. I completely understand why you don't feel ready to speak to a therapist but the one thing I would say is that they genuinely do hear about these types of situations regularly and would never judge you. We are our actions, not our thoughts and you took steps yourself to correct behaviour that wasn't healthy. You don't have to cope with this alone.

I know that you will be worried about the long term effects on your brother but at the same time, I can imagine that you might also worry about what would happen if people were to find out about what happened in the past. I imagine that you also wonder whether it would be more damaging to talk to your brother about what happened or not. I don't necessarily have any answers but I do know that even talking these kind of issues through, whether on here, or somewhere else, will get them out of your head and stop them eating at you.

This has happened in my family - my uncle was older than my mum and was in a similar situation to you. I can honestly say that no-one harbours any ill feeling towards him, he is still the same person he always was before we knew. Lots of people do things they really regret when they are younger and their hormones are out of control, especially if they don't have their boundaries in the right places.

Just remember to keep talking and not to bottle things up.

Take care