Why????

My world has come crashing down!! Sorry i this is my first time on this site and really first time admitting my problems so i don't know where to even begin..I guess at the present and work back..I have a major major problem with lying. I live with my girlfriend and her children and have visitation of my only son. My girlfriend just found out that i have been lying to her for 6 months about a job that i work at..I quit a good job to work at this new one (i am in sales and very good at my job) but this job was in a town 2 hours away and told her it was in a different town. Now i said this because a former coworker went to work with this company and said how much greener the grass was on the other side..I knew that she would be pissed so i took the easy road and just said it was in a different town..6 months of lying where i was at has caught up to me, not only that but since she has caught me in so many lies in the past she thinks i am/was sleeping with a coworker..I told her that one of my coworkers was "old/fat" so she wouldn't accuse me, well she is not either of those things and she found that out as well...I also was attending a conference away and with some coworkers and she saw phone records of me texting a girl (coworker) and just assumes that i was with her having an affair...The only problem is that i wasn't and that i have never been unfaithful to her..But my lies which i can't ever seem to stop have her with zero trust in me, and for the first time i cant blame her!! I have been lying (which is so hard to admit) my entire adult life..I have lied so much sometimes its hard to remember which is the truth and what is a lie!! I have hurt the ones i care about the most and i do not know what to do...It has cost me a marriage to which i had a very young son and my ex wife couldnt understand why i lie..It has cost me jobs, but i always seem to land myself on my feet..Now with all this coming down again i cant continue to hurt people anymore..I trully love this woman with all my heart and have been faithful and i feel i would do the world justice by just not being apart of it anymore...WHY can't i seem to just stand up and tell the truth?? People see me and think i have it "all together" i can win over a crowded room, i can charm anybody, and yet i feel so ugly on the inside..I hide my demons by lying and i am very good at it and it kills me..I have lied to my parents who have always stood by me, i lie to my girlfriend who i want to marry, i lie to myself thinking this will be the last one...I am soo remorseful, not because i get caught, but because i have trully hurt the only people i care about!! Why do i do it?

If you are still reading this please help me figure out where i can begin to get better, because it can't get much worse...I can't continue to live this way..I have things in my past that i cant seem to get out of my head but i am not saying it is the reason i lie..I am sorry for everything!!! PLEASE know i am willing to do anything to stop hurting the ones i love!!

We have a Compulsive Lying forum here. And it might be helpful to read some of the other threads there and see if there are any ideas. The bad news is that it's a very quiet forum. People tend to post just a few times and then move on. That is also good news, because it suggests that they have found a way through their lying and are into a more stable way of living now.

I would suggest finding a therapist to work on this with, if you can. They'll be able to help you unpick what short-term problems you're solving by lying. And help you tackle the longer-term problems that result from it. It's tough to level with them. But I think that's your best shot at changing the pattern. Plus it shows your girlfriend that you're taking it that seriously. The therapist might be willing to have a session or two with both of you which will help her too. But most of the work is on your shoulders.