How To Deal With Gossipy Relatives

My mother and sister spend all their time talking about other people. They will take one sentence someone says, read all kinds of meaning into it, then talk about it as if everything they just made up is fact. But I'm used to that, and have learned to shrug it off over the years.

Now that my kids are grown, my mother and sister constantly ask me questions about their lives, just so they can gossip. I refuse to be complicit in my children being used for their gossip. When I say 'I don't know' to their questions, they ask me why do I feel I have to hide things about my kids. Then they make stuff up based on my lack of response. Their thought process is, I'm hiding something negative, what can that be, it must be this, yes it is this, it's a fact. And they tell whoever will listen to them. I know that if I confront them and demand they stop gossipping about my kids, they will turn it around into something wrong with me. It's impossible to reason with them, they enjoy gossipping too much.

So I guess I'm just looking for some comfort here...I know this is my cross to bear, and it could be a hell of a lot heavier.

Some people really need to get a hobby. I would find that so frustrating I'd probably stop talking to them completely. You're handling it better than I would. Being firm about it, and not giving in, are the only strategies I can think of, which you're doing already and I just hope they'll eventually take the hint.

You know, I have stopped speaking to my sister for several months now. My mother - I just can't feel OK about not speaking to her.

But thanks for your support - just what the doctor ordered!

Keep posting, here or in other forums, it's what we're all doing here.