Girlfriend breaks up with me after every fight

I have to admit, I have been this girl.. And let me explain why I myself did it to maybe give you a possible insight:

When my boyfriend and I would fight, I would get so overwhelmed that I would feel sick to my stomach and feel like leaving is my only option. I felt he was difficult to reason with and disregarded my reasons for being upset a lot of the time. I felt like the only time I got the love and attention I wanted was when he was begging me to stay. I would either return or unpack my things based on his grovelling as well as my fear of being alone.

So, with that being said, it could be triggered by your behavior, her insecurities, or both. Or something else completely.. Either way, you can try to sit and talk with her calmly and address the problem and if it continues, I think it's safe to say your relationship is toxic and really should end.

Good luck my friend.

This sounds like myself only I don't act like everything is normal. I cut off completely until I give into the begging from my boyfriend. How you two met is similar to me and my boyfriend. We met in high school and he was a "player". He talked to a lot of girls but had one girl that he was dating on and off. The girl ended up causing so many problems for me that I stopped talking to him for 3 years until 2 years ago. We ended up dating and now that I know the REAL him, I honestly feel like I can take complete advantage of him. Now he is in my hands instead of me being the pathetic one who has this huge crush on him, hanging on his every word. Being with you built up her self worth because you were "uncatchable". Now, you are just putty in her hands, as you said she has the power. What is going to need to happen is you are going to have to call her out on it all and demand that it stop. She will need to stop with the "games" and you will need to stop feeding into them which sounds like you have since you said you don't beg for her anymore. She could possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder like I have. I do not cheat either so there is something to salvage. I wish you both the best. Therapy is a really good idea.

Hey everyone thanks for the replies I thought a lot about what you guys said and I decided to do as most of you have said. after this last broke up In august.I talked with her I told her that she can't do it she's doing anymore and that she does I will break up with her it'll be the end I told her that she takes control of me and she feeds on my now low self-esteem. I told her next time she does this i will not go back with her. since then I think she's learned to not broke up with me at all. And she didnt until yesterday. she broke up with me over a problem with our families and a small fight. All i said was" remember what i said are you sure you want to break up with me? and I told her that I wouldn't take her back. The thing that I have noticed is that every time this happens she is pmsing? Weird

But I know now that I have to make her realize she can't do this. I have to ignore her calls and scare her. She is a good girlfriend otherwise, very supportive and loving and I don't want to be without her. I know she has a problem and I think her hormones make her go out of control.

Thnx for the tips

well you should make her understand that its not the way to behave in a relationship.

May I ask whether the topic of argument is worth the breakup? Maybe to her it is. Unless it is just a small pointless argument and fight, I agree with the others. But topics like moving, work, kids, etc. deserve more talk and people get divorce/breakup over these things so she's not far off.

In my personal experience and that of my friends, this means that the person initiating these frequent breakups sees a fundamental issue in the relationship or in the chosen partner. For instance, the girlfriend of a friend kept breaking up with him and he was communicative and insightful enough to realize that she felt embarrassed that he was one of her younger brothers friends and younger than her. She obviously valued the relationship and each time she came back attests to the fact that she struggled with the decision. I kept on breaking up with my ex because I wanted a more serious committment and a family, but I wasn't ready. I thought I just needed more patience and kept on repeating the cycle until I realized that I had a fundamental moral issue with being in a long-term relationship which wasn't moving towards more commitment. This sort of situation happens more to young adults because they are still learning from trial and error and figuring out their values and visions for what constitutes happiness. The worst thing you can do is to try to control the behaviour of the other person, that is assuming a parental role and calling them childish. Ideally, you need to have good communication and insight into your partner whose actions you should regard as that of an equal, who was propelled by a rational cause. You should not dismiss the issue and move on after they apologize to you (because believe me they feel horrible for breaking up with someone they love). You need to be insightful and get to the root. Perhaps it can be overcome through positive communication which indicates intimacy and compatibility. Or you could end up fighting further because egos get in the way. In my experience, these relationships have never worked out though.

Wow. You have been through alot of heartache. This is toxic and bad for you. I myself was in a toxic relationship as well and I got of it about 6 months ago after 2 years of being together.... It is no good and I am trying to better myself everyday.... Wishing you all the best Johnnyboy.

Ciara

If I was in your situation, I probably wouldn't do anything about her pattern of breaking up and getting back together. If she's not cheating on you and both of you understand that the relationship isn't over, I wouldn't care because it's all dramatics on her part. She's not going anywhere. I definitely wouldn't supplicate to her to get her back like you did initially in the relationship because that is pathetic like you said.

If it's bothering you like you said it is, that's a different matter altogether. You need to put your foot down and tell her to stop this. If she doesn't comply, then you need to avoid enabling her. She'll have to face some consequences for her actions. You have to set personal boundaries for what behaviors you're comfortable with and uncomfortable with.

This will never end well. It never does. People that are happily married don't have on-again, off-again episodes 164 times until that one moment where that unstable person just 'gets it' and says 'oh my god, you're the love of my life, I will never do this again.'

She has already lost respect for you because you keep accepting this behavior, and thus also has lost attraction towards you. You're going to be devastated because you're going to think that one day when things have been ok for a while, she has finally seen how much you give her, how much you love her unconditionally and how you've always been there for her, when 'WHAMMO,' she will walk out of your life forever and find the next sucker to do this to.

People above have commented on this because it's nothing new. They've seen it. I've seen people in their 40's and 50's still do this. They will never change, they will end up alone at 60 wondering why no one was ever good enough for them.

Please walk away and don't ever look back. I promise years down the road you'll shake your head.

well I had similar girlfriend and here is how I solved (suggesting to you too )
-after first few breakups, I sow this will no be good, so decide to use this tactic, when she breakup next time I will find tomorrow or day after tomorrow new girlfriend. I done on that way, and after week she call me to "talk". I told her that I have new girlfriend, and that we are celebrating first week. She was screaming and told me various things, but I just told her that she need to take care what she talks and what she do. Didn't sow her for few months, in mean time had few girls, (btw: with on of them sex was best ever in my life) and was seen again at mutual friend party. After that we were together again, and she never breakup after fights. She was still screaming and talking bs, but never broke up.