If people (friends) are having no time for ages

Dear community,

I am not sure whether that topic fits in here but somebody can put it into a different category then. Secondly, I am not a native speaker of English, so I hope you'll forgive my mistakes.

Well, I have been facing that problem which is mentioned in the title for a very long time now. Friends, relatives are having no time for ages, or at least, they do pretend it. I have seriously no idea how to cope with that as I take it personally and as I am quite depressed and satisfied about that. I simply consider that behaviour to be a false excuse... I often tend to think that those lacks of time are made up by the people, you know. I have no idea why I am confronted with that again and again.

People do really tell me that they are not going to have time for several weeks or months, even though they do write rather nice and very charming e-mails.

Then, I am often exposed to people who have loads of difficulties if other people (friends) do not live in their neighbourhood or round the corner... I often heard "you live too far away", "it hurts me to go by train or by car for half an hour" and so on. Well, what should I make of such utterances. By gosh, I am soooo angry with that.

By the way, my psyche does not understand that either. And he does not have the impression, either, that those people do not like me or something like that.

I think most of the people I have gotten to know have been living too isolated. That means that they have problems at getting used to other people or to adapt to other people's habits...

That topic is gradually becoming the issue of my life. Lack of time and distance problems. Even my psychotherapist cannot help me how to deal with it.

What do you think about people who are telling you "well, you live too far away", "well, I am lacking time for several months". Is that a made-up story??? To dance "good riddance"?

Best wishes
your Schnaufi

Does anybode face the same problem?

Is that topic too plain for you?

Hi, and welcome to the forum. It seems that lots of people nowadays are becoming less sociable, and that the internet and social networking sites like Facebook have made people lazy and less inclined to leave their armchairs and actually go out and meet people. It seems like you do make the effort, and it must be very frustrating when people let you down.

Perhaps if you organised something specific like a theatre visit, drinks at your house or an outing, people might respond? Are there any clubs or organisations you could join, for instance amateur dramatics, a walking group, or something that involves a hobby you enjoy, or perhaps an evening class? Going to such places would ensure that you meet people who actually appreciate a life outside the house. It can take courage to go to places like this on your own, but you would be likely to meet people you have something in common with, and this would provide an opportunity for conversation.

Hey,

I think you are right. Many people do not feel like doing things outside, anymore.
Well, the funny thing is: I did always do any stuff. Like going to a chess-club, doing work-out in a fitness centre, going to a ping pong club, trying to catch people at university, trying it on the internet and so forth.

Meanwhile, I have gotten to know a bunch of people but it is sort of difficult, nevertheless. One of them is very kind, has a similar past and so forth --- but she lives 3h away from me, she is married, she is writing her bachelor thesis and so on.
Another new acquaintance whom I have gotten to know at the institute in which I give extra lessons to weak pupils, also met me and she also told me she appreciated our "date". But when I asked her about repeting that, she simply replied that she was not going to have time for several weeks. I am so annoyed by that. Why is it so difficult?

I have to try different things maybe

In my students' residence, I don't get to know any serious people, either. Most of them do only want to have fun, like going to parties or drinking like fishes. O_O So, I don't like that. I merely live in that residence because I lack money for an own flat. It is quite expensive in that big city here...