Read this. About my brother.

So my brother who is now 25, im 26, has always found his way to very very abnormal and dysfunctional relationships. A big part of it is he specifically likes very immature, unstable, and otherwise insane girls. In highschool he dated a skinhead girl. He was with her on and off the entirety of highschool. She constantly cheated on him and he would always take her back but of course holding the grudge. She even cheated on him, they broke up, cheated on him again immediately after and told him its not cheating if its with the same guy as before. Of course he stayed with her. He's always had very shallow emotions and things didnt seem to upset him.

Of course he's not a sociopath he has very deep emotions he's just a weird type of person who chooses to act like things dont bother him. Its a defense mechanism im sure from growing up with 2 brothers who all constantly fought and bickered. We really didnt have parents. We had a psychotic mother who you would avoid at all costs, up to and including disappearing during her wake hours for weeks at a time to avoid running into her. She was angry, constantly screaming, constantly punishing often times for nothing or preemptively. My brother and I were quite literally permanently grounded in highschool. She found whatever excuse she could to ground us. A cup on the sink, a C in a class, we were never allowed social lives or TV or computer or anything without sneaking it. We were all good kids. None of us ever got in any trouble as kids. But she hated us deeply. Our dad is the opposite. Hes calm and collective but a workaholic who avoided us at all costs. They seperated when we were about 10ish and had split custody.

My brother became a hermit. He has always had an obsessive personality. He has always been in poor health but not overweight. He goes the skinny route because he doesnt want to buy food or leave his computer to eat. Now he buys protein shakes. He works out also too now but not untill like 3am when the gym is empty. So about his skinhead girlfriend. She was literally baker acted every weekend. She would want to go out/stay out permanently and the mother would ground her and she would attempt suicide. She was baker acted probably 50-150 times in highschool. And Im not exaggerating. His girlfriend after her had terrible rape trauma syndrome. She was like stuck permanently in the age of 11 or 12. She as an adult always had to have a girl with her. She would find clinically depressed, small, unnattractive girls to be what we called her shadow. She would sleep with them (not sexually), go to the bathroom with them(in the house not out), go EVERYWHERE with her. The shadow even slept in the same bed as my brother and his girlfriend. The shadow quite literally never left her side. My brother and his girlfriend fought constantly. Wake up fighting, fight all day, go to bed fighting, wake up fighting. It always started as verbal and then became very physical. It was every day, all day, every day. Family called them the dueling dragons after a famous roller coaster.

They broke up though. They broke up a few years ago also for about 8 months. My brother refuses to clean out, throw away, return any of her stuff. She very literally had clothes, boots, junk, all sorts of stuff in his room. Not an inch of floor would show. It smelled terrible. It was wretched. He stayed in bed all day every day. Of course he managed to recontact that skinhead girlfriend and she would come over some nights. How she endured the filthyness is beyond me. I guess that shows her character. Anyways. So him and the girlfriend with the shadow broke up about a year ago. He started working out, he started being a little cleaner (not much) his room is still a mess and smells horrible but on a scale of a 1 to 10 on cleanliness is a 4 maybe. It used to always be a 0 or 1. So now hes found another girl through internet dating. Her dad is an obsessively controlling wealthy oddball. She wanted to spend the summer living with my brother and the dad no joke sent her to a fortress encampment in israel to spend the summer instead. She was a virgin before she met my brother and Id have to say shes 23 or 24. She also has the maturity level of a teenager. I like to test peoples maturity and intelligence by having an opposing viewpoint to something they care about and gauging their anger reaction. I almost had her in tears over geopolitical nothingness that I didnt even care about. So now shes in israel. She doesnt live in the same city as us to begin with. She lives about 2 hours away. He works his sleep schedule around when he can skype with her. He's on skype with her probably 8-10 hours a day and also on the phone with her 2-4 hours a day. He's nice on skype but in person hes extremely controlling and abusive. She is upset by this but I dont think knows any better so she puts up with it. Sexually he makes her do and say things that perturb me. And im the biggest baddest dude that ever lived. How she endures it I really dont know. He is very controlling and demeaning. To the point where I cant understand how he keeps a girl for a day. But he seeks out ones who I feel dont have a choice but to put up with it.

I just want to know what people think about him. He has authoritative defiance disorder there is no helping him or changing him. I can use suggestion to make little changes over huge periods of time but you cant tell him to do anything. I made a point out of his scrawniness and disgusting body for probably a decade before he started excersizing. Hes famous for being chronically late, falling asleep when he's supposed to meet friends somewhere, etc. He's also extremely competitive. To the point where friends dont play video games with him because he will play the game obsessively in off hours so he can dominate his friends or have a stronger character or something. He wont play games at all if they dont have a system of competition like points. His friends say he 'sucks the life out of games'. He has a very odd personality type. He chain smoked up untill recently. His teeth were so rotten he pretty much had to. Indoors he had an e cigarrate in his mouth non stop outdoors he chain smoked. He quit using chantrix. He has a very obsessive personality. He gets on something and has to out do everyone. As a young adult they played drinking games. He took it upon himself to drink only liquor, eat no food, and try to attain the ultimate alchohol tolerance. He was showing signs of kidney/liver failure at the age of 21 and quit drinking. Thats him in a nutshell. Now he does nothing but talk to this girl on skype. He wont talk to anyone else. He wont even answer texts. His dog is in declining health. I wonder if anyone has some insight on him.

I guess it would be hard to diagnose or figure him out without actually being around him. I dont think he had borderline personality disorder. I do think he has an odd type of depression. He does work out. He can keep a job. Maybe low self esteem...I dont know. I would really like to hear what people think about him/us developmentally since we had no real parental involvement in our lives. If you want an example of my childhood I cut my leg badly when I was five or six and cried to my mom who was on the phone for about 20 minutes before she got of the phone, screamed at the top of her lungs about how annoying we all are, how im so rude, how I just need to put a towel on it, etc, and threw a towel at me and called her friend back. My leg was was covered in blood, my shoe filled, my sock drenched with blood. She was neurotic and as insane as a human can be. I think shes on meds now that help her. That was the last time I have to say I ever engaged her purposefully. The other siblings also became very good at avoiding her. Our dad sat in his study all day every day and had no interaction with us.