Why Do BPD's Go Cold? *TRIGGER WARNING*

xdude wrote:

EarlyMorning wrote:... but if I did that to you (not that i would) but if i did, that's what i'd think. ...

A generalization, but my experience with BPD is that they think somewhat differently. People call it push/pull. Pushing others away and that they come back is a kind of proof that they are really loved, plus being intimate with another can cause them to panic. Often fear of abandonment, so they may abandon first, but also there is a feeling of safety in being alone (nobody can hurt them), while at the same time fear of being alone. It's a complex disorder with a lot of inconsistent beliefs/feelings that don't make sense to others, but do to the person with the disorder.

Well if this is true then this is me! And I dont think I have BPD (tho I may have traits). Everything here Ive been guilty of tho I push others away for reasons I deem genuine (ie: they misbehave/treat me badly/disrespect me). If however they came back I'd think they truly cared for me (as long as it was them that had misbehaved originally not me - if it was me - unlikely - but if it was I'd think they're a mug). If they wanted me back and they were in the wrong I wouldnt chase them to come back though. I have too much pride for that. But then my ex did this and when he came back, I thought "great", but then oh no, he trashed my boundaries even further the next time (silly me for allowing him back). And I eventually left him after lots of me breaking it off and then taking him back for things I got fed up about when I found out he lied (a dealbreaker with me) about a pretty important thing. Couldnt trust him after that. He tried to get me back, even as friends, I couldnt. Every now and again he texts me even now to try to get me to talk to him but I won't (even though I still care about him). I think he may have BPD if the casanova article on the men with BPD thread on this forum is correct.

However he's the sort of person that the more he thinks he has you the more he pushes you away. I dont know if he thinks I care more if I respond or if I dont. But if I respond he definitely cares less.

Edited

Bpds are very dangerous to be emotionally involved with. They are often very reckless with money, sex, drugs/alcohol, and extremely unpredictable and volatile. I have been involved with one for 6 months and it's been quite the roller coaster. In all honesty the only thing keeping me with her is that she has a rich father and an m.d. (which might be useless since she can't save money and has shown to be unreliable at holding jobs). I started drinking heavily for a while to put up with the volatility.

These people come across as sincere, honest, passionatand idealistic and exciting, then you realize their sincerity stems from them having psychotic like impulse control in which they have extreme emotions which go both ways.

I'd describe them as emotional lunatics. The psych community coined the term borderline in describing them because they actually thought they we're "borderline psychotic". "Emotionally unstable pers disorder" in the icd.

Also they seem to not feel love and loyalty in the traditional sense, but in a superficial way (if you got large pockets they will love you, then hate you once you re broke).

The high functioning ones are often narcissists who are particularly devious and predatory.

Steve234 insulting people with mental illness will not be tolerated.

Cracked

Steve234 wrote: In all honesty the only thing keeping me with her is that she has a rich father and an m.d. (which might be useless since she can't save money and has shown to be unreliable at holding jobs)..

Nice. How long do you think it will be before you can cash in?

Steve234 wrote:Bpds are very dangerous to be emotionally involved with. They are often very reckless with money, sex, drugs/alcohol, and extremely unpredictable and volatile. I have been involved with one for 6 months and it's been quite the roller coaster. In all honesty the only thing keeping me with her is that she has a rich father and an m.d. (which might be useless since she can't save money and has shown to be unreliable at holding jobs). I started drinking heavily for a while to put up with the volatility.

These people come across as sincere, honest, passionatand idealistic and exciting, then you realize their sincerity stems from them having psychotic like impulse control in which they have extreme emotions which go both ways.

I'd describe them as emotional lunatics. The psych community coined the term borderline in describing them because they actually thought they we're "borderline psychotic". "Emotionally unstable pers disorder" in the icd.

Also they seem to not feel love and loyalty in the traditional sense, but in a superficial way (if you got large pockets they will love you, then hate you once you re broke).

The high functioning ones are often narcissists who are particularly devious and predatory.

DOH! You are awesome. And yes, I'm the Predator Queen. All hail to my deviousness and shallowness. I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn't, then why would you say I am.